Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Words of Wisdom from Women

Friends, Casual Readers and those who are just sitting around in their underwear and stumbled onto this post.

I just wanted to let you know that if you ever find yourself with a question or problem, be it big a biggie, like "My wife has a shotgun pointed at my groin!" or "My new pet ferret, Pepe, doesn't get along with Jorge my pet iguana. What should I do?"

Well, certainly don't ask me, because I'll just mock you mercilessly, your balls will get blown off and worse still, Pepe and Jorge will never become friends.

So if you want good, anonymous, free advice, here is the place to go. Help is but a click away my children.

Ask me a question, and I'll tell you no lies...

These three gals give good advice, even if they've been drinking. Go ahead, give them a tough personal question that you need advice on. They'll bust a cap in your problem's ass (arse if you're an Aussie, Brit, Kiwi)

Honestly it's like having three women pals that don't burden you with their own garbage. How pure, generous genius is that? One day you'll thank me. Nah. You won't. But you should. It's like Dear Abby, but with three hot & brainy chicks from New York.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey, Kranki, I have a question. It's scrupulous. So, my cousin is really cute. Five foot, blonde, blue eyes, supple bosoms. And we have waaay similar personalities. It's creepy how similar we are. But there's just this whole "taboo" thing. My friends think it's weird that i wanna have sex with my cousin. But the thing is, she's not really my cousin. She's my step-dad's sisters niece. And shes' adopted too. So it's cool, right?

kranki said...

Does this look like a confessional to you? You twisted little hormone, go ahead and fuck your cousin if you want to, but I guarantee that you will get her pregnant* with a six fingered-gremlin baby. Honestly, from what I've read the problem with step-cousin humping is that it's gateway sex that only leads to more serious incest with, say... step-sisters, uncles-in-law and deceased family pets. You know the old saying, "You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't fuck family members."



* Yes, even if you are female.

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kranki said...

HMMM...

BEVIS said...

Hey Kranki, same question from me, 'cept it's my twin sister. But it's cool, right?

giggles said...

Posted by giggles for kranki, who is having trouble performing his blog comment duties. Must be all the drinking.

Dear anonymous,
I sent your question to the Pros. Does this look like a confessional to you? A place to lay your weary woes. You twisted little hormone, go ahead and fuck your cousin if you want to, but I guarantee that you will get her pregnant* with a six- fingered Gremlin baby. Honestly, from what I've read the problem with step-cousin humping is that it's gateway sex that only leads to more serious incest with, say... step-sisters, uncles-in-law and deceased family pets. You know the old saying, "You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't fuck family members."



* Yes, even if you are female.

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kranki said...

As long as she's unconscious I don't know of ANY Australian rules that preclude twin sex. Is it a conjoined twin? Just curious.

kranki said...

I may have posted the same post more than once. It was a bloggerwide problem, so nobody should point it out or I'll be forced to retaliate by posting naked pictures of me on my blog.

Anonymous said...

even though i disagree with your opinion i thank you for your time. i still think that since shes my step-dad's whatever then it makes it okay. but you're god, so... follow up comment: who's the girl with the big nobs in the swimming pool covered in pudding? she's really hot. i hope she's related to me somehow.

James Dough said...

follow up to that follow up: did you get any work done on "Birthday Boy" this weekend? i got three pages!

kranki said...

Which girl? The one standing on the left with the short hair? That's my little cousin Simone, on the left. She's an Anthropology Major with a full scholarship for Pudding Sports. She can run the 100 meter Pudding Freestyle in under 37 seconds.
The one on the right is her aunt's sister in law. I think her name is Claudia I think she's majoring in Lesbianism or she's part Lebanese, it was a long night I don't remember much of it.

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