tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38271792024-03-14T01:44:11.764-07:00The Krankiboy KhroniclesLaugh with me or at me. I really don't care. Okay, I care a little.krankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.comBlogger733125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-39015103075938049332012-07-28T01:20:00.003-07:002012-07-28T01:27:09.501-07:00The Eccentric Essentials
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mso-font-signaturekrankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-88963820236215024232012-07-16T03:12:00.000-07:002012-07-16T03:13:44.614-07:00FUCK Hana! Not the girl, the place.Hana is a restful quiet town with many quaint beaches and lovely tropical trees and plants and a highway that meanders around making it less of a highway and more of a pain in the ass to drive. It's one of the most popular tourist destinations in all of Maui and aside from one or two impressive waterfalls it sucks. The main reason it sucks is one that is utterly baffling. There krankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-20507326703785481782012-07-15T02:46:00.001-07:002012-07-15T02:46:26.198-07:00Jeep JEEP JEEP!!!I have a huge silver Jeep. I drove it down the Hana Highway today. Did I mention that it's fucking HUGE. It's like I'm in the military but they forgot to give me my uniform and M16 machine gun. I will have a hard time giving the thing back to the rental company. Maybe if I tell them how much I love it I can keep it? It's big enough to sleep three people in the krankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-22236282206200683182012-07-13T16:15:00.000-07:002012-07-13T16:15:12.842-07:00Lovely Local Older Lady? - Possibly Paranoid SchizophrenicRight now, I'm in Hawaii and it's god damn beautiful and I want to
see as much of Maui as I god damn possibly can god damn, it. I love natural beauty and good
fruit and nice people and being near water that is all here in huge quantities. I can
already tell that I'll be back to Maui and other Islands of Hawaii.
What's not to like? The grocery stores here are even krankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-48873687799861421572012-07-13T03:05:00.001-07:002012-07-13T03:05:06.244-07:00A Year and ChangeYes, the title is a pun in that it's been a year and a few days since I posted and because my life has undergone quite a bit of change.Last year this time I didn't own a scooter, I wasn't married and on my honeymoon in a beach in Hawaii. I hadn't mentioned my lovely band of Inappropriate Update Group(ies)*. It's been an eventful time. Might be a good idea to start a new blog forkrankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-84540035520206313632011-07-05T22:37:00.001-07:002011-07-05T22:37:20.366-07:00Living in the PresentLiving in the present is easy when you're in pain or if you have to pee. That is truly living in the present. It's a bit harder when you have to do it without your body telling you how to feel.
What the fuck does that even mean?krankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-8780530564509878552011-06-27T19:53:00.000-07:002011-06-27T19:53:45.397-07:00Actual Conversations # 2This is from quite a while back.
Me: "You know, I think I must have swallowed 18 of your hairs this weekend."
Her: "Yeah, we like your hustle. That's why we keep you on the team."krankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-50879929250057303382011-06-22T15:06:00.000-07:002011-06-22T15:06:33.972-07:00A Timely LineThis exchange actually happened to me the other day.
Cute girl: "Do you meet all kinds of cute girls because they come over and want to pet your dogs?"
Me: "No, but I have slept with a lot of attractive women who have asked me that question."krankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-81942328540864068132011-05-22T12:15:00.001-07:002011-05-22T12:15:24.706-07:00That makes more sense now._49K6655-Edit, a photo by wanderingval on Flickr.Okay, the fact that it was in response to specific comments from a stupid officer makes more sense. I can't believe that there would be such surprise that so many stupid cops exist. There are some great police officers to be sure but plenty of idiots. The officer at my college who gave a safety lecture back in Boston told the women there that ifkrankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-7405672445213571372011-05-22T11:59:00.001-07:002011-05-22T11:59:06.830-07:00Slutwalk PosterSlutwalk Toronto 055, a photo by JiBs. on Flickr.If somebody wants to dress like a slut are they feeling like they can't do that because they'll be judged or that it is currently an invitation to sexual advances? Neither of those things are going to change. Nor would many women who dress that way even want them to change.krankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-81131786149783666552011-05-22T11:55:00.001-07:002011-05-22T11:55:21.836-07:00Slutwalk?Slutwalk Toronto 043, a photo by JiBs. on Flickr.You know. I'm not sure I totally get the Slutwalk thing. I realize they're standing up for a woman's right to express herself and wear what they want and not have it be sexualized and make the idea of being a woman who has and enjoys lots of sex a positive thing. I'm for that, but something about it still just doesn't make sense to me. If slut krankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-51105650594913801642011-05-07T14:01:00.000-07:002011-05-07T14:01:28.560-07:00Jury Duty Day 2It was an interminably long, long time spent watching Ball & Hymen and the defense lawyer voire dire the jury and I had a good story ready that would have biased me and had me dismissed me right off the case. I never got called into "the box" as they call it, so I never had to use it. I wish I'd been called right away. It would have saved me from having to be there the krankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-16074876984616181222011-05-04T23:37:00.000-07:002011-05-04T23:37:35.780-07:00Jury Duty Day 1I was told "Do not to blog, twitter, face update or tweet about this by the judge. Myspace is probably okay since nobody reads those anymore, anyway. It's probably a good place to store secret information.
So, I went in for Jury Duty. They sent me the little warning thing in the mail and I figured, what the hell, I believe in the Justice System kinda. It's better than krankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-68873929386272473332011-04-13T23:30:00.000-07:002011-04-13T23:30:14.490-07:00The Neverending SearchOnce again I am looking for a new place to live. Last time I literally fucked up my living situation by drunk banging a roommate's ex and this time I just found an anti-social odd ball. He actually has a conspiracy theory that I am trying to drive a wedge between him and our other housemate. "I don't trust you, Matt." This is because he got drunk and slapped me in the facekrankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-77043879167175071852011-01-21T17:23:00.000-08:002011-01-21T17:24:38.417-08:00Things Kranki finds KrassAt Seth's birthday party a few years ago, some strange woman who was a guest of a guest, was checking out some guy at the party. She seemed quite shy until she turned to me, Seth and Craig (guys she'd just met) pointed to this guy and loudly announced. "I'd like to have HIS abortion." Three crass dudes were lightly stunned.krankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-50671491812224558732011-01-20T00:04:00.000-08:002011-01-20T00:12:20.792-08:00Kranki Words of Wisdom # 1Great minds think alike... and so do we.- Krankiboykrankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-32534886500790120142011-01-11T22:58:00.000-08:002011-01-11T23:09:17.919-08:00Soggy Bottom BoyIs it wrong to make up a story about how I too once wet my pants in second grade to make a self-conscious, anxious first grader feel better? The other option was to just wet myself there on the spot in solidarity. It may have been a lie, but I'm happy with my choice.krankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-27460566581559986392011-01-08T21:13:00.000-08:002011-05-07T02:26:39.329-07:00Ring Ring! Obama & Duckie
Ring Ring!
Obama: Yes?
Duckie: Hello, Mr. President?
Obama: Yes. Who is this and how did you get this num---
Duckie: Oh, well, my name is Duckie, I'm a fledgling chicken, not actually a duck... anyway, long story. Look, I called you because I'm worried about the future.
Obama: The future? Anything specific, Duckie?
Duckie: Yes. Sarah Palin. krankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-79627400873063062102011-01-02T23:46:00.001-08:002011-01-02T23:56:07.870-08:00RedonkutardasticMy associate in social media endeavors, Beau Brooks, is redonkutardastic if he thinks I'm going to help him spread his word redonkutardastic.I told him he'd have more luck spreading the legs of lingerie models than he will that word. Which, if he was a glass half full kind of guy, he would take to mean he'd have tremendous success with both efforts but slightly more luck in making sweet krankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-68399602042856069972010-12-31T14:00:00.000-08:002010-12-31T14:46:46.260-08:00RIP 2010I didn't like much of 2010. Most if it straight up sucked dead pigeon pussy. Exceptions include my summer trip to Italy and getting a visit from my friend the B! I am extracting those and a few other tidbits from the year that was. It was not a year of hot sex, carefree delight, and inspired dance moves covered in chocolate. From the personal to work to political to economic, entertainment, krankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-20801186516022913792010-12-26T00:21:00.000-08:002010-12-26T00:27:50.149-08:00You Know How I Know You're Gay?You're on Twitter just like me!http://twitter.com/#!/krankiboyCome on, let's be tweetards!krankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-12803441142101545562010-12-25T01:54:00.000-08:002010-12-25T02:16:55.587-08:00What I've LearnedNearly every relationship comes to an end. It's what you take away from it that matters.What I learned:Don't press forward in a relationship if it feels like one person is more invested than the other person.Keep the power in the relationship. Don't be passive.Don't wait around to hear from her.Trying to do everything right is exhausting.It's good to end relationships directly, in person, to krankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-17711406404140593302010-12-23T14:50:00.000-08:002010-12-23T15:30:27.331-08:00Pearl NecklaceMy friend JJ found this.This is one of the strangest things I've seen in a while. I'm not sure who, besides a porn star would want to own and wear one of these. Okay, maybe that does something for you, but would you really wear it out in public? How many guys are going to get these for their ladies this holiday season? Oh and they cost over $400.The expression on her face is my favorite part krankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-270462898779858992010-12-23T13:43:00.000-08:002010-12-23T14:30:29.133-08:00Santa Cruz TripI had my first visit to Santa Cruz. It wasn't the easiest task driving down there in the pouring rain. I haven't done much driving since I literally let them take my car away. Long story there. Anyway, it was pouring pretty heavy rain down from the heavens and it was night time and I don't have an expired license and it wasn't my car so naturally I was the best choice to drive. Another krankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3827179.post-35014125671768798672010-12-09T23:41:00.000-08:002010-12-09T23:54:55.212-08:00Weird Night of Rock and ReadingsI went to a friend's reading which was at a tiny bookstore. Apparently this bookstore is the social gathering for some semi-homeless very old dudes. It was one of the smallest spaces I've ever seen musicians cram into. My kitchen is spacious in comparison to this place. Here is a breakdown of some of the things that went down. 1 - It was the firs time in many months that I met this yoga babe krankihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367718887956073239noreply@blogger.com0