Tuesday, June 27, 2006

The Soccer Seer

During the last week of school the kids were very caught up in the World Cup.
Some were terribly well-informed on the details of the game.

I'm not all that up on my World Cup Football so I asked a few questions from a young man I will call "The Soccer Seer." The 11-year-old Seer is not related to The Wizard by the way. The Wizard was recently extradited to Jamaica and is currently working through some child support issues with several of his common-law wives.

Mind you this conversation happened 2 weeks ago.

Me: So, does Italy have a good team?

The Seer: Well Mr. Kranki, I'd like to say yes, but they are well known for faking injuries to draw penalties and I lose respect for any team that plays that way.

Me: So they cheat?

The Seer: If you consider bribing referees on a regular basis and flopping like they are sensitive little girls instead of professional athletes to be cheating then yes.

I didn't get to talk to him much about the Australian team but he did say that they were a gutty group of players with a good team balance.

The Seer: Look for Brazil and Argentina in the Finals. Look for the United States to be sent packing early. England also has an outside shot if they can avoid red cards.

You heard it here first. Of course I don't have a TV so somebody tell me if he's correct.

I rely on listening to 103.1 and Steve Jones (formerly of the Sex Pistols) He has a show called Jonsie's Jukebox that provides me with most of my sports information.

Go obscure underdog team that nobody thought would make it this far in the World Cup!!! I've always liked those guys.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Wake Up Call

Today is the first blog of the rest of your life. Make it count people. Don't squander your first ammendment or whatever they call the Aussie laws that protect your right to opinionated mindless crap written in the guise of entertainment.

So, a few things I think are good ideas to make the world a better place.

1) A gigantic swear jar that everybody in the United States can use instead of making us pay takes. Why not tax the things we hold dear like four-letter expletives and angry rants of profanity.

2) Having ice cubes made from freezing the exact liquid in beverage you're drinking instead of water so that your beverage doesn't get watery like it does if youhave a Coke or an orange juice and drink it too slowly.

3) Reality show called "The Littlest Terrorist"

4) Training monkeys to serve as drivers for the elderly to avoid accidents. Obviously we'd only use the very smart monkeys to do this.

5) All the land in the world taken up by golf courses should immediately be made available for Live Action Role Playing such as Darkon. Golfers would then have the option of battling the "Realm" to reclaim their golfing rights. Young outcasts from mainstream society battling wealthy aging golfers armed with clubs and carts is an idea whose time has come.


Any spelling or grammar errors you find have been intentionally left to enhance the realizm of this blog and call attention to American Imperialism.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Pink Slip Video

Why haven't you been posting Krankiboy? Well, I was clinically depressed, busy and working like mad and decided to cut off most contact with the outside world which oddly didn't actually help. But then I had to put that plan aside as I felt morally obligated to share this video?

So many questions.





http://www.youtube.com/watch?search=retarded&v=g2BqKf1eoaQ

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Krankiboy vs The Hedge Hogs.

Okay, I think I've been sitting on my ass long enough with my blog. I found a challenge.

There is a website where you can sponsor a hedge hog. It's similar to save the children but this one helps a shelter to protect hedgehogs, badgers and other animals and help return them to the wild. Awww... Hedgehogs are my my absolute favorite animal besides my dogs Ass Breath and Freckle Dick of course.


The Secret World site has just over 100 thousand views. I have about 96 thousand views. I would like to pass them in views. I thought this would be a nice way to draw some attention to the hedgehog cause and help motivate me to get my readership up again. If you help me (or don't) to get past their page hits I'm going to donate 100 U.S. dollars to the hedge hog cause. If not, fuck em, I gave them lots of traffic.


Now does anybody (Boudy, Fluffy?) know how to put a permanent link on my blog in the corner so it's always up on my blog's main page? Thanks.



http://www.secretworld.org/data/merchandise.htm