The Event You've All Been Waiting For!

It's finally here. The event that the world has been yearning for is coming soon. Forget your fear of right wing political forces, the madness of the war in Iraq, the nuclear threat of Iran and North Korea. Gen-o-cide in the Sudan will be replaced with Fun-o-rama. Your Tsunami cares will be gently washed away. Rejoice, my friends for Miss Congeniality 2 will soon be coming to a theatre near you. Oh, and it's the Academy Awards today too.

I'll give you a moment to mark your calendars, call all your friends and buy your advance tickets. Yes, you see what our planet needs isn't sane leadership, a respect for the balance of man and mother nature. Diplomacy and empathy and understanding. Fuck that, let's suicide bomb those ideas.

Yes, we've desperately needed to put our woes behind us is another delightfully "charming" Sandra Bullock movie. This is a force bigger than any country or war or natural disaster or problem. This is a lame Sandra Bullock sequel. Now the entire human race can come together as one, hold hands and sway as the almost comedy covers us like a thick spurt of sickly sweet syrup.

Miss Congeniality 2 Armed and Fabulous: Don't judge an Agent by her cover.

And friends I have gotten my hands on a copy of the script and it is nothing less than thick, pure, unrefined sewage.

It doesn't matter how much whip cream and sprinkles you pour on top of this baby. It may look like a delightful treat but get a little nibble of this tired fagtastic follow-up feature and you'll realize you've got a mouthful of dog shit sundae. Raw sewage - light entertainment?

Now she's a showgirl in Vegas and she gets caught up in the glamour and... well, I don't want to spoil it for you. I would rather clean the bus station road with my tongue than be forced to view this film. I'm not sure how many stars that earns. Warner Brothers knows how to craft only the finest movies.

So take a deep breath, a warm bath or go get a massage because now we have Miss Congeniality 2 to gather around like a safe warm fire on a dark chilly night. Yes friends... we can all relax content in the knowledge that world peace for the entire human race can't be far behind.