On an less disturbing and unrelated note I had a little kindergarten girl in my class who was from Korea. She spoke very, very little English. We were watching a movie and she came over and sat down next to me. She leans in very close to my neck and she takes a big sniff and smiles at me. I ignore her so as not to encourage her strange behavior. She then sticks her nose right into my chest and takes a few sniffs. I turn and as her what she's doing? Do I have a strange smell? She shakes her head. Then she spoke her first sentence in English.
"No. You smell cute!"
Still the best compliment I've ever received. For the rest of the month the other teacher who was there with the class would look me over when I'd arrive at work and ask:
"Did you get a haircut Mr. Kranki? No? Are those new jeans? Well, it must be something 'cause you certainly smell cute."
It must be my adorable shampoo.
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Oh, those moments crack me up so much. Recent favorites include a little boy who I was holding declaring: "Under your arm is spiky!" (in earshot of the entire staffroom) and another little girl, whose English wasn't very good, struggling for ages to try and tell me something before blurting out "Before, fat! Not so much, fat!" Apparently I have lost some weight.
Oh, and can I just say - so many people are going to be disappointed when they discover that all the fantasies the title of that post inspired will go unfulfilled by its content. Naughty Kranki to raise the hopes of bloggers worldwid.
Yeah. Leave it to the little ones to speak the uncolored, uncensored truth. Or to just accidentally amuse.
"Before Fat! Not so much fat!" - A kiddie classic. Right up there with the boy who went up in front of the class to tell us all that "My grandpa don't like any black people."
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Blake (age 5) taps his friend Joey on the shoulder.
Blake: "My dad likes you."
Joey smiles.
Blake taps him on the shoulder again, Joey turns around again.
Blake: "My dad wants to be your boyfriend." Blake laughs. Joey looks confused and a bit scared..
Blake: Just kidding, my dad doesn't like you. He said so."
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And number one with a bullet. Is little Pintoo who loved science and volcanoes. He told us all about the volcanoes that destroyed pompei with the lava and how people were smothered in ash.
But he spoke like Elmer Fudd so his said "wahl-canoes." And then he told us all about Pompei which is in "It-a-wee" where people died "for wealz (real), dis is twue" And most people got "kewelled" by the "hot wava" or they were "smovered" in "ass."
How did they die Pintoo? (ANNOYED) "I alweddy told you. Their face got smovered in ASS."
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