Sunday, October 24, 2004

The "W" Stands for Wormfood!

See, I told you, it's true! George Bush really does like white, Christian children who can help his presidency. This is just a blatant suck up to women voters. I love how he is looking at the camera and not really focused on the grieving motherless little girl.

Ashley's Sad Story that some group called People for American Progress, P.A.P is using this human interest story to distract us from Bush being an (insert offensive witty Bushbashing comments here) So if I wanted to I could say that Kerry is getting a P.A.P Smear. I'd never make a bad pun like that, but I'm just saying I could if I chose to.

I can do better than hugging a girl. Here are some possible headlines if I wrote the news.

1) John Kerry Saves Adorable Baby Seal with CPR.

Kerry quoted as saying, "If you love the environment, as I do, sometimes you have to tilt it's head back, put your mouth over it's nostrils and blow."

2) Tragedy Averted as Senator Kerry Changes Very Stinky Diaper

Kerry made several reporters on hand chuckle when he remarked "If elected, John Edwards and I are going to have clean up an enormous, foul-smelling legacy of shit that George Bush left behind, so I may as well get used to the stench."

3) Guy's Girlfriend Breaks Up with Him: Kerry Quick to Comfort.

"I'm here for you, buddy. I too shed tears when I see how Lady Liberty has abandonded this Administration." said Kerry. "Let the pain out, let it all out big guy." Kerry added.

Dubya is a "compassionate conservative", ya know. That's alliterferation. He hugs real good, especially if it makes a good photo opportunity. I hope somebody is there to comfort his daughters Jenna (and that other drunken skankette) if, God forbid, some loopy Liberal ever gets utterly fed up with George's lies, personal wars, stupidity and corporate cocksucking bullshit and decides to assassinate him and turn him into maggot appetizers. The W stands for Wormfood. Wouldn't burying George W. Bush in the earth be considered pollution. Catch 22.

I'm Krankiboy and I approve this message!

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