Sunday, November 06, 2005


I have been Tagged. Not once, but thrice. Bevis, Surlyboy and now Gun street girl. It's like a loving pinch of attention. I'm getting more action than a short-skirted tourist in Italy.

My new adoptive Australian big sister was kind enough to put my name on the tag.

Well I'm not sure what you're expecting to get from an emotionally wounded Krankiboy but here you are.

I have been Tagged. This means I must share 20 things about myself and then tag five other people. I'm a team player.

1) The other day while talking to a friend on my cell phone I panicked that I had misplaced my cell phone and told my friend to "hold on a sec I think I lost my cell phone. I have had a lot a lot of shit on my mind but that's still pretty brain dead under any circumstances.

2) I was the kid who was told not to trip because my shoelaces were untied and ignored the advice and then tripped on my laces and broke my nose on a flight of marble steps.

3) I have written a kids book about animals that may actually get published.

4) I went on my very first date at age 9 and my second date at age 17.

5) In elementary school I was known as the bully-killer due to my ability to fight with hyper-active ferocity.

6) Despite my "quirks" I am a very nurturing person who loves animals, kids and plants.

7) I have no patience to learn how to play an instrument but I truly wish that I could learn to play guitar.

8) Nearly every woman I have broken up with has almost immediately put on 15-20 lbs. Be warned you strumpets.

9) I can't swim. Will you please teach me?

10) My parents were never married which makes me a genuine "bastard"

11) I get cravings for healthy food like some people crave junk food.

12) I think that 20 things are too many things to list and that people will surely grow bored of reading somewhere in the teens unless there is something sexy or disturbing made up and thrown in to hold their interest.

13) I used to have a drug dealer who I got stuff from but then he died. We think it was probably from taking too many drugs.

14) I know the man who holds the record for being the World's Fastest Backwards Talker. It's really freaking impressive! Ti rof drow ym ekat retteb srekcuf- rehtom.

15) The investigators on the case never found enough of the body to prove it was me that killed that pregnant Hooker in Nashville. She totally started it.

16) My favorite TV shows when I was a kid were the A-Team, The Dukes of Hazzard, The Incredible Hulk, Threes Company, Monty Python, The Fall Guy, and The Smurfs.

17) I have a nasty fear of heights and if you intentionally try to scare me with a fake push or if you get to close to the edge. I will become nervous, punch you in the arm, and it will hurt.

18) I dearly love my grandmother but I once spit on her because she did not let me put the coins into the automatic toll booth basket. 27 was a tough age for me.

19) My greatest goal in life is to be an exceptional father and raise happy kids.

20) Lastly, I think I may have died at sea in a past life.

So I reluctantly tag Sherriff, because anybody who posts a picture of their cock on their blog probably doesn't mind sharing personal info. I tag Anna A Spades, because when she turns 18 she and I are going to get married so I can get Australian citizenship. Shhhhhssh. Oh and also we're very, very, very, much in love. Quirkie gets my tag because she usually has something pithy to say. Tuppence, because of that amazing night we spent in Buenos Aries. I still have the burn from the candle wax. And I tag Magical_M. You're all it! No tag backs.


gun street girl said...

Actually, I didn't tag you but I wanted to learn more and I was getting impatient,sorry to be misleading...
I totally wish I had, your twenty thinger were killer...
I am also a genuine bastard, my parents were stupid hippies and never got married.... which probably isn't so bad because then they didn't actually have to get divorced...

Also, I thought the pictue of a tag you posted was an orange, and was marvelling at your obscurity.

MelbourneGirl said...

can you give us the link to sherriff's cock?

oh, and nice 20. thanks.

Clokeeeey! said...

What did the hooker do to you, make you pay?

BEVIS said...

Well, at least that clears up the fact that you would have understood MelbourneGirl's Monty Python reference last week ...

Very good Twenty, Kranki. You entertain me greatly! :)

Be happy.

(Hey, at least Penny's gonna get fat, right?)

Magical_M said...


*looks around like Molly Ringwald does at the end of Sixteen Candles*

You tagged me?


Why thank you Kranki!

debs said...

Hi there. Been doing the rounds and stumbled upon yours. 20 things really is hard to come up with and doing it thrice? eep
1) hehe, funny. Just earlier I told my husband that "dogs have very good ear hearing" wtf? no, they hear with their noses. duh

3) Good job. Hope it works out. I wrote a book about animals that goes through the whole alphabet. I read it to my class but thats about as far as ive gotten.

7) I wish i could play the guitar too.

11) You lucky bastard (also see 10 hehe)

Ok, this is the longest comment ever. Out

kranki said...

Debs: Hi thanks for stopping by. You are nowhere near the longest comment ever left on my blog. That honor goes to Bevis Von Bevisman. Bless him and his manic commentary. If this blog were a TV show he'd be the announcer or possibly even sidekick.

Jellyfish said...

How did I miss this post the first time around? Last time I looked, it just had the tag, which did not have your name on it and was therefore naked.

8) Nearly every woman I have broken up with has almost immediately put on 15-20 lbs. Be warned you strumpets.

I have no idea if that is true, but it is pretty funny, even though I did feel quite bad for laughing.

9) I can't swim. Will you please teach me?

Is this true? Really? REALLY? Kranki, we are going to have to do something about this! How do you expect to survive an Australian summer? I will totally teach you. I have several surfboards on top of my wardrobe (and also some floaties).

Jellyfish said...

PS - I hereby register a Komplaint that you never did the book meme I sent you like, 100 years ago.

*evil face*

Anonymous said...

I was so nearly a bastard, but my parents decided to do the right thing. Seeing as they left it to the absolute last minute I'm pretty sure I've got memories of their wedding day somewhere deep inside my brain.

Excellent 20, Kranki.

ps. I seem to make girls stop eating altogether. Perhaps we should team up and start some kind of weight control program?

kranki said...

Surlyboy: I think we should call our weight control company Binge and Purge.

That works out well because with your skill you will be handling all the fat chicks.

I would be using my seductive powers to wipe out anorexia. So far it hasn't been wiped out here in LA, but I've only been separated from my wife for like 2 weeks.

Melbournegirl: Just ask Sheriff if you want to see his cock or a picture of his cock. I'm not his pimp... yet.

MelbourneGirl said...

sheriff said that he might put it back up again. so it's not there.

but now i'm scared...

sorry to put you in a difficult situation.

ms fits said...

I've got personal happy snaps if anyone wants to email me for a slideshow presentation.