Sunday, August 14, 2005

A Magical Weekend

It was a fun weekend in which I....

  • Went to a tiny Art Gallery Opening of mostly bad abstract cartoon art.
  • Argued against the idea that happy people could make good art.
  • Ate blueberry pie with vanilla ice cream
  • Used my left hand to reach behind my friend Carson's back and unhook his fiance Molly's bra using my left hand.
  • Received high-five from Penny as a reward for my finger dexterity.
  • Had deep conversation with Penny's reclusive coworker about the various pros and cons of giving women labotomies with a power drill and keeping them around to cuddle with.
  • Sat in women's boutique while Penny and other women there talked about me as if I were a trained monkey. "He just waits there so patiently."
  • Got sex as positive reinforcement for waiting patiently. This may lead to shopping being used as foreplay.
  • Got anxious, panicked and drove through a red light with people already in the intersection. I honked horn to warn them and was justifiably cursed at.
  • Got stoned and watched Futurama episodes. The time travel episode was rather confusing.
  • Viewed horror movie about killer dogs.
  • Wrote advertising copy for killer dog movie.
  • Made awkward small talk with drunk guy while waiting to use restaurant bathroom. "Big mirror in here, huh?" "Yup...it is."
  • Unsuccessfully attempted to feign concern when the insane neighbor lady next door told me she'd been evicted. "Well, that's gotta suck for you, huh?"
  • Was driven around looking for a gallery at night in a station wagon whose headlights would go out whenever the chopstick jammed into the dash board was touched in any way.

2 comments:

BEVIS said...

Whoa! You had an ace weekend!

All that was missing was a pair of lesbian swans and a disgraceful conclusion to a three-month-long reality TV show.

Anna A Spades said...

Kranki, you need to gather your beloved and move to Australia to be part of the warm loving community of bloggers who need you here.

Alternatively we can all colonise a little island of our own...

Also, your weekend rules. "Recieved high-five from Penny as a reward for my finger dexterity". I aspire to be that cool.

xx