Proper Wedding Etiquette.

This past Saturday my friends Anne and Ryan had their wedding. It was a lovely event, however there are some things I learned from the experience.

1) It is not ideal to show up at the exact moment that the Father and Bride are preparing to walk down the aisle. (Those things never start right on time.)

2) Don't try and make clever small talk with the caterors who are over fifty or sporting Wham! haircuts. They will either not get your jokes or assume you are flirting with them.

3) When getting dressed for the wedding and your wife asks what time it is? Tell her it's 30 minutes later than the actual time.

4) Don't assume that just because it's a wedding that you need to be respectful and wear a designer suit and tie. Some of those fellas in the jean shorts, baseball caps and pony tails looked perfectly dashing.

5) Wine is not served in large shot glasses for a good reason. Sip.

6) Try to encourage those dancing with the bride not to do so while holding a very full glass of red wine.

7) When your former boss who fired you from your last job is there, just smile and use very complicated vocabulary words.

8) Sign the photograph before you have your fifth glass of wine. Otherwise you might think it's funny to write "Have an awesome Summer, see you next year."

9) Don't saunter up to the bride and ask her "Hey are you here with anybody?"

10) Don't proceed to ask the same question of her eight-year-old niece.

11) Under no circumstances should you loudly inquire "Who invited all these damn white people?"