Diaper of Death!

News from Norway

Parents Warn of Death Trap Diaper
Jonas Christopher Fleischer-Larsen narrowly avoided drowning last Friday in a tiny inflatable splashing pool. His parents have sounded a warning because their son was nearly killed because he was wearing a disposable diaper, newspaper Adresseavisen reports.
"I will never forget the sight. He was floating face down in the pool and his face was dark purple. His eyes had rolled back in his head. I was sure that we had lost Jonas," his father, Alf Egil Larsen, told the newspaper.
The children had been playing in the shallow pool on the front lawn earlier. Jonas' parents were visiting the boy's godparents. Suddenly they noticed that the toddler was not with the other children.
They found the boy lying lifeless in the pool. Godfather Frank Rasmussen, who works in a day care center, used his training and began artificial respiration. The child began to cough up water and an ambulance soon arrived.
The boy's moisture-resistant disposable diaper had acted like a powerful balloon, rising up and preventing the child from regaining his footing.
"You don't think about it, but it is frightening. A small pool with 20-30 centimeters of water is enough. It can happen incredibly quickly," said mother Ragnhild Fleischer.
"This was a completely new variation," said adviser Ivar Christiansen at Norwegian Peoples Aid (NPA) to Norwegian news agency NTB. Christiansen works with the NPA's drowning statistics and has never heard of a disposable diaper linked to a drowning before. Jonas was in good health after the combination of artificial respiration and hospital care.

What's wrong with you people. Are you crazy or is it a cultural thing. No wonder the population of Scandinavian countries isn't increasing with the rest of the world.

The parents are upset? Why because they can't leave a baby unattended in a pool anymore? Would they rather that the diaper absorbed all the water and sank the baby? Generally babies need to be watched when they are around water, or fire, playing with knives, shards of glass or operating heavy machinery. I'll never understand the Norwegians. It makes me wonder if absent-minded parenting is a cultural thing.

My friend Lee told me that European parents have a different relationship to their children than we do in America. She told me this story to illustrate that point.

She was 18 years old hanging out in the Netherlands with her gal friend (also named Lee) on a pleasure ship when some Dutch woman with a baby comes up to them and asks very nicely if they'll watch her baby for short while. Here, strange, young, American girls, please watch my baby for a few minutes. Well, they didn't know the woman at all, but sure they'd watch the baby for a few minutes. Let's be friendly Americans, they thought. Well, they're in their room with the baby and over an hour has gone by. The mother hasn't shown up to get her baby. They start to worryu, but just a little. Then another half hour goes by and they're now thinking that the woman was trying to unload the poor infant. So they take the baby and go scrambling all over the ship looking for the mother. After about twenty minutes of searching they're really starting to panic. It's been almost two hours and mom is nowhere to be found. They go into the main bar room to calm down, get a glass of water and figure out what to do next. While they're sitting there sweating bullets. They see a big group of people out on the dance floor having the time of their lives. And there among the dancers, busting her moves, and grooving to the beat is the baby's mother. The approach her and she smiles as if nothing is wrong. "Lady, we've been looking for you for two hours." The Dutch woman continues to dance. "If you need to do something, you can give the baby to somebody else to watch. I am enjoying the dancing." They're dumbstruck.

Blink Blink. "What?!" The other girl finally says (because by this point my friend is speechless) "Here, take your baby, lady." They hand her the kid and walk off relieved, annoyed and perplexed. The Dutch lady looks at them as if they've just done something so incredibly rude.

Now, I understand that the Europeans live in a safer society, and it takes a village, but that's a bit much. Why not just tie a string to the baby, and throw the little bugger over board. Clearly his diaper will let him float, right? Stupid Americans.