A Chat with Mall Rat - Fun and Games for All

Mall Rat wrote to me and said:

"i have sent off murder marry fight fuck and gay chicken to a bunch of friends of mine and blogrolled you. Have you seen this site?
F THE VOTE - it's a pisser:

"SEXY LIBERALS OF THE U.S. UNITE in taking back the government from the sexually repressed, right-wing, zealots in control! Everyone knows liberals are hotter than conservatives - we look hotter, we dress hotter, our ideas are hotter, and we are infinitely hotter in the sack. We must use our sexual appeal to our advantage, as one more weapon in our already diverse arsenal. By stripping conservatives out of their clothes, we can also strip them of their power." i was out at our main mall, nbourke street yesterday, and there were three americans trying to find other americans to enrol to vote. this is unheard of in australia. we only have about 60 american expats - most here because they thought they were going to Austria and then got stranded.they were democrats, of course.
x
mallrat

Dear Mallrat. Thank you for "blogrolling" me. I like the term. My Murder, Marry, Fight, Fuck Post was posted by Ms. Fits. Just look for the Murder, Marry, Fight, Fuck title amongst her posts. I told Fits about it in an email and she realized that it was something that Australians could benefit from.

Mallrat: "Got any good election party/road games? We have just been told we have a general electio coming up..."

Okay, first off, what do you mean you "have just been told you have a general election coming up?" Aren't these things planned in advance? Or is like a last minute come as you are party? Do you know who the candidates are or is that kept secret until after the election?

My suggestions for other games to play, besides M.M.F.F. and Gay Chicken are:

1) Strip Road Trip

Each person picks a color of car that they will take off a piece of clothing for. So if I pick "Red" and then we see a red car-- Off comes one piece of my clothing.

2) Would You Rather...?
This game is not my invention but I like it. You pose two scenarios to a person and they tell you which they would rather do. For example: Would you rather cut off your own ear and eat it or be required to offer sex to anybody in uniform for the next five years.

3) Curse Off

You go back and forth trying to name as many offensive words or insults as you can. So, I'd say "Cocksucker," then you would have to come up with something before the other people can slowly chant F. U. C. K. You must do it in alphabetical order to make it more challenging. You can also make up offensive words like "Turtle Humper" or "Ass(Arse) Sauce." Three strikes and you're out.

And a less tawdry game that you can play with Mum or Mom that is called...

4) The MOVIE Game. You name an actor and the next person must name a movie that actor was in.
For Example: Tom Cruise - Days of Thunder - Nicole Kidman - Mulan Rouge and it keeps going until somebody gets stuck. So if I didn't know the name of somebody in Mulan Rouge I would say challenge then YOU have to name another actor in the movie. If you can then I get an "M" If you can't then you get the M. When a player gets M O V I and E they are out. And then you tease them about how stupid and uncultured they are while poking them with sharpened sticks (optional). I play this with my friend Legum and he always kicks my ass (arse). The loser of the round starts things off again with a new movie or actor.

5) I'm Taking a Survey (very fun)

Get a clipboard a pad and a pen. Find a stranger and tell them that you are taking a survey for the University or some vaguely official sounding organization.
If you are brave you can pull up next to other cars, bike riders or strangers by the road and take turns asking them very strange questions and see how many they will answer before getting mad, leaving or telling you to go fuck yourself. *

Sample Questions.
- Miss, what is your favorite season?
- Excuse me sir, what's your favorite Ice Cream Flavor?
- Pardon me ma'am, how many people have performed oral sex on you?
- Did you ever wet the bed as a child?
- Have you ever wet the bed or used ice cream to make oral sex more fun?

You can also ask strangers would you rather questions. "Would you rather be spanked on national television or not eat for six days?

* We don't play many of these games in Los Angeles because strangers are generally not friendly here and some carry guns in their car. Los Angeles can be a strangely isolating place where you go from your home box, to your car box, to your office box. So much driving is bad for the soul and your social skills. Although I hear that in Finland it's sometimes considered rude to even make eye contact. The entire world is screwed up somehow. It's not healthy living here and I should probably move to Melbourne and help recruit Americans for Fuck the Vote. But I am going to be an elementary school teacher here in L.A. and play kid friendly games all day long.

If anybody is at all interested, I'll tell you about a popular game called Celebrity and then we'll do a six-part study on the rules, tactics and strategy of Chinese Checkers, won't that be fun?