As a resident of Los Angeles who has mucked my way through the sewers of the film and television industry for the last 8 years I am going to go ahead and give myself an honorary doctorate in name dropping. For the purposes of this post I am Dr. Krankiboy.
Yes, everybody name drops. It's okay. I accept that. It makes you feel cool by association and sometimes you just want to feel cool. You just do. Call it an ego boost, don't be ashamed to do it. I've seen even ludicrously famous movie stars drop sports figures names and vice-versa. But if you're going to be an effective name dropper there is a style to it. Do it right for fuck's sake. Let me give you a couple of examples.
Person #1: You want to go get something to eat?
Name dropper: I went to this great restaurant for Kate Beckinsdale's birthday.
BAD - Forced, why don't you just fellate yourself while you're at it.
Here's the Good Version
Person#1: You want to go get something to eat?
Name dropper: Yeah, how about Italian?
Person#1: Is there a good Italian place around here?
Name dropper: I went to one near here for a birthday party. I was really good. Fun party.
Person # 1: Who's birthday was it?
Name dropper: Umm... I think it was Kate's birthday.
Person #1: Kate Beckinsdale? You went to her birthday party?
Name dropper: We just have a mutual friend.
Well dropped - Give some details and make them do the digging. Then you get to drop the name you wanted to drop so badly and they end up looking like the starstruck idiot and you're Captain Hollywood A-List party person.
The rule on flat out name dropping is the more obscure the better. So don't go leaping for Tom Cruise or George Clooney right away. You'll get there.
Here is a good flat out name drop.
Dropper: Hey, you know who I saw the other day?
Person #1: Who?
Dropper: You know that guy who played the little Asian kid in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom?
Person #1: Yeah, I remember him. "Indy, I love you Indy!"
Dropper: Yeah, a really nice guy. I was talking to him for a little while and then Russell Crowe came over and asked him "hey are you the the kid from the movie Goonies?" We all had a good laugh about it. I love that movie. Classic.
Subtle. You get to tell your friend you casually hung out and bonded with a big shit star and the only reason you mention it because it had to do with your the obscure actor you met.
So, please the next time you're out with somebody and their name drop lands with a loud obvious clanking sound. Go ahead and clue them in. Or better yet tell them you're a close personal friend of Dr. Krankiboy. That'll impress them. I'm as obscure as they come. And proud of it. If you have a celeb and you're dying to drop their name. I can help. I don't make housecalls but I can do a brief consultation. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm running late for my dinner date with Tom Hanks, Jodie Foster, and Steven Spielberg.
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6 comments:
Very interesting blog, Krankiboy.
Tell them Mel said hi, and he wants his signed photo of Dick back. Warren borrowed it before he and Mads broke up, but then Brad got his hands on it and Mel hasn't seen it since! He thinks Brad may have left it at Steveo's place one night after he slept with the little Asian kid from The Goonies.
Note it's early for me and I haven't eaten yet, so this may be rude.
B+
Not bad going with the volume name dropping approach. However if I may critique your style just a bit.
"....Yes ...please...." you wrote. (I may have taken them out of their original context)
Of course you want me to so you can work towards your Bachelors Degree in Name Dropology Your drop style puts you in the position of errand boy for an autographed picture and while it is going to make an impression that you know who Steven is fucking currently, it implies a subservient relationship. Mags was an excellent detail. If it had been perhaps a masseuse or personal yoga instructor that had been the object of contention it would have certainly been and A grade. Also so far you have the highest reported score in the Guess her Bra size game, so If nobody else can knock off your 43 then you will win the embarrassing picture of me. As a great man once said "90% of success is showing up."
That barely makes any sense upon re-reading it. Perhaps a celery and cube is in order.
Dear Kranki-Pants,
A couple of things to note:
(1) Everything you wrote made perfect sense to me.
(b) It's late for me - and although I've eaten, I'm a grotty little man, so this may very well be rude as well.
(4) I'll take your hints for improving my Name Dropology skills on board and will hopefully do better next time.
(fridge) Oh, that reminds me - you'll never guess who I was speaking to the other day! You remember that big fat guy who was in those Subway commercials and lost all that weight? Yeah, him! Basically he asked if I knew where Hef was hiding, because he had to leave the party. I said he was probably in the Grotto again, and then Pam flashed her tits at us. (But there's nothing new there - she does it every time Matt and Ben are nearby.)
(turquoise) I can't believe 43 is still the highest score! Sure, not many have reported back with a score, but apart from your own very impressive 63, I thought 43 was basically shameful. But good on me if I win!
(hgdf) I was very pleased to see another Celery & Cube!
(arse-bandit) I have a problem writing numbered lists. (I don't know if you noticed...)
Great stuff, though! I look forward to your next critique.
Solidly dropped, like a prom dress to the floor. That's A+ work.
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