Tuesday, November 30, 2004

If I Had an Island... Part Deux

Just thinking practically for a minute here. Our Island Nation would absolutely need a Mistress of Education. You know, for the kids. Let's teach life skills they'll actually use outside the classroom. Do we want to learn trigonometry or how to achieve machine gun-like bursting multiple orgasms?

Coach would help you stay fit and healthy. He'd also play Santa every Christmas. Yeah, we'd still celebrate Christmas. Why? Because I like getting presents for people? It's the season of giving. Don't like Christmas? Well, fuck you and the Sweet Baby Jesus both! It wouldn't be a religious holiday. Who's hypothetical island are we talking about here?

I'm thinking of this for our flag. Perhaps with a Tropical Island Background.

"I allow you to introduce yourselfs ta me. I am so damn happy I want to sing 'cause I'd be appointed da Secretary General of Bling Bling!" I imagine we'd have a lot of bake sales.

The Secretary of Defense (far left) and the Ambassador to Jamaica (middle) and the Chancellor of Herbal Tea (right)

Even you your pets will be fit and healthy. "Come on gimme fifty push-ups you little pussy!


Our Spiritual Advisor

Do you have a suggestion for other details that would make the Island a more enjoyable place to live?

Send them to krankiboy@yahoo.com


Jellyfish said...

Good lord. You really are as funny as everyone says, aren't you.

kranki said...

You are very kind. Who's they? Do they have a paying writing assignemnt? Being altruistic-ish doesn't pay very well.