Friday, November 12, 2004

Eternal Childhood?

I was sitting around the house last night wrestling with Freckle Dick and Ass Breath. Those aren't their real names, but as far as you know they are. I'm wrestling with them and I had a moment of clarity. I'm approaching 31 (January fourth send gifts) and I realize that I'm still a child. I had a group of 4th graders on a field trip to Coffee Bean where they got to make their own chocolate or vanilla ice blended drinks. I couldn't wait patiently in the back like a teacher and adult should. I actually cut the line and stuck my tongue at the boys behind me.

This has caused me to question if I am an actual adult. Here are some facts to consider.

1) I'm messy and I don't really care.
2) I still play with toys and get excited to see what the have in the toy isle.
3) I am currently sponging off of the income of a working woman.
4) I'm writing this at noon and I am still in my pajama bottoms.
5) I don't get dressed up unless I ABSOLUTELY must. Like for weddings and funerals.
6) I collect bugs like spiders, preying mantids, rollie pollies.
7) I name these bugs and keep them in containers around the house.
8) I pee in the shower, only when I'm alone.
9) I can't swim and needed to wear water wings at my house boat bachelor party.
10) I can't go into the drug store without looking at the candy isle.
11) The word boobies still makes me smirk.
12) I talk about buildings and structures just so that I can say the word "erection."
13) I spend 8:30 to 3pm hanging out with 9 and ten year olds. I'm a teacher you sicko.
14) I like to give rabbit ears to people in pictures.
15) If it's really really dark, that's scary.
16) I'm going to buy some Legos today. Just because I can.
17) If things fall on the floor I usually still eat them.
18) Things that light up are cool.
19) I don't like the taste of Coffee
20) I like the Power Puff Girls
21) I get carded any time I try to get into a bar.
22) I'm not allowed to have a video game system in the house because I used to have "a problem."
23) I drink from the milk carton and spill or dribble 70% of the time.
24) I like stickers
25) I do not comb my hair

And on the other side.

1) I'm married
2) I can drive a car
3) My ID says I'm 30 years-old
4) Sometimes I read books that aren't picture books
5) I have credit cards.
6) I have an anemic but existing stock portfolio
7) I like most vegetables, including onions, broccoli, beets and asparagus

That's about all I have going on the adult side.

I'm going to go have some Oreo cookies for breakfast and reflect some more before I go to the Toy store. Probably in my pajamas.




3 comments:

tealou said...

Oh, we're all children at heart. And what better place to experience being a child over and over a gain than as a primary school teacher? Its fabulous! (Just no playing doctor...)

kranki said...

Well, I forgot to mention that I drink directly from the milk carton and spill on myself 75% of the time.

Perhaps I should retitle the post ETERNAL RETARDATION.

knifey said...

Hahahaha! "boobies!"

Hahahaha!