Monday, December 26, 2005

Blog is not a sexy word.

Have you tried explaining what a blog is to somebody's mom or dad? Try explaining to people that you met ALL your friends in Australia because you started reading their blogs and then sent them some emails. You often get stared at like a purple baby with dick growing out of your head. I might as well say that I first met my friend when I tried to stuff my finger up their ass without permission one late night outside a seedy bar. Or maybe, I liked the way their underpants smelled so I followed them around for a few weeks learning where they liked to spend their free time.

It's incredibly difficult to feel remotely cool when you have to use the word "Blog." It's not a sexy word and I am going to officially suggest that from now on we replace the word blog with the word fuck.

Doesn't it sound better to use the word "fuck" in place of "blog"? Here's an example, you be the judge.

Ignorant person: So, how'd you and Firetart meet?

ME: How did I meet my friend Firetart? Well, Firetart and I are both avid fuckers and we met each other through some mutual fuck friends who are hardcore fuckers. My stomach still hurts me after Firetart's fuck from the other day. It almost killed me. We like fucking so much that a bunch of us are thinking of doing some group fucking. It's very liberating to be able to fuck whatever you want.

Or, perhaps Blog is the sexier way to go.

I don't know I'm just another ignorant fucker.

Happy Holiday Fucking my beloved Fuck lovers.

14 comments:

fluffy said...

Why don't you ever fuck about me? I am part of this supposed 'fuckerati' afterall.

Jeremy said...

Also, when's this supposed meeting of the kranki supposed to be taking place, anyway?

gav said...

Hey Kranki

I have similar issues. Tried to explain the whole blogging thing to my mum, and her response was that she felt it was "all very anti-social".

I think you may have led the way for change ... mum, I'm a big time fucker, and I fuck most every day, sometimes two or three times - and sometimes people comment on my fucking ... can't get much more social than that can ya mum!?!?

Chai said...

Actually, the finger in the arse thing... there was this rugby league player who did that a lot on the field. He made quite a few enemies *and* quite a few friends as well, I hear. His name escapes me for now. Got it. It's Hopoate. Sports keep you fit, they say. What was the topic again?

BEVIS said...

Chai: It was finger puppetry.

(Wasn't it?)

Chai said...

Yes, yes it was, Bevis. Welcome to Australian Sport, Kranki. And let me know regd the "vege" lunch.... Catch ya later, jumpy. Actually, I better check that they're open cos of Xmas and all. How much longer is your stay? Need to know how long to stall.

sublime-ation said...

God, not poor Hopoate again. It's a fairly common practice in rugby apparently according to my Maori cuzins.
Thanks for this post Krankster, the worst is when you are about to tell one of your 'real life' friends about something one of your blog friends said or did (that Hoff cd, sitting on pride of place on my bookshelf has raised a few questions from concerned visitors, Chai I'm looking at you) then you have to explain that they are your 'blog friends' (or beloved Fuck lovers), then go into the whole blog thing...it's agony.

Chai said...

Noooooooooooo *as subl blows cover, face in hands* I thought discretion was the better part of valour, whatever that means. And it wasnt me, it was someone who writes like me.

Jellyfish said...

Oh god. There's a fucker called Firetart, and I didn't even know? I'm so out of the fucking loop.

sublime-ation said...

Sorry Chai, discretion is not my strongest point. You were just an.....example.

Le Driver said...

Excellent. Then we could also have http://fucksearch.google.com.

Ukulele said...

I'd like to fuck as good as you do Kranki.

hell said...

hi!

happy year!

Buck Fudd said...

Carols by Candlelight?!

You lucky blogger.