Sunday, December 18, 2005

Sexy Text Torture

I have a large backlog of events and pictures to post about as La Nadine has gone out of her way to expose me to the full spectrum of Australian culture ranging from fine dining to Lawn Bowling to gambling at the Dog Track. I'd just like to call all you Aussie Lawnbowlers out because I smoked everybody and won 3 out of the 6 lawn bowl matches I played against my "competition". For the record do not fib and tell La Nadine that she won a game because you think it will inspire her. It only leads to trash talking. Oh and it got her confidence up and then she did win two games. Not that I'm keeping track of the score. Trash talking has no place on the bowling green as it can distract one from the goal of Lawn bowling which is to consume enormous amounts of beer while barefoot in the sun.

I must say that I am impressed with how much the Aussies can and do drink.

I was exposed to some mild texting torture when I found out that some of my Aussie gal friends had picked up the Christmas spirit and skulled (chugged) it.

This was the text message I received from my torturers.

Everyone very very drunk. girls pashing, truth games being played. OUT OF CONTROL.

Woah! This then lead to a massive girl-on-girl pash (make-out) party. I felt that had I been there in Melbourne rather than Sydney I could have provided some kind of guidance and international encouragement to the festivities.

Then I received a second message from another one of the pash participants minutes later which read:

We are all massivly gone, discussing oral sex, and Snaz has been kissing girls. Repeatedly. You wish you were here.

I happened to be sitting in my guest room reading an old issue of Lucky magazine and waiting for the washer to finish my laundry. Wild night. I tried to text back but experienced some premature texting due to my level of excitement.

Snaz informs me that there is a pill I can take for that.


BEVIS said...


BEVIS said...

You hard-rocker you.

Sherriff said...

Hotels in Sydney rule. Just don't pee in the fire escape.