"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically "wrap around" Rock, leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in about 2 seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I'm sorry I thought paper would protect you, you asshole."
I did a bit of intensive (google, click, done) investigative reporting and discovered that there are hordes of people who go to Rock Paper Scissors Tournaments. I'm serious. I imagine that for those who are more sophisticated there are probably Tic-Tac-Toe Tournaments. And, for the true intellectuals, there's "I'm Thinking of a Number between Six and Ten" Competitions.
I think that the Furries make more sense. A raccoon fetish I can understand.
On road trips with kids I like to play a modified version called Rock, Paper, Scissors, Dynamite, Baby Rabbit.
Dynamite beats everything except for Scissors (which can snip the fuse) and Baby Rabbit, who can both gnaw the fuse off the Dynamite and chew up the Paper. Although he doesn't fair quite as well against Rock or Scissors. Messy. Yes, I know what you're thinking, but these are very long bus trips. Plus, reading while in a moving vehicle makes me very nauseous.
Other fun Bus Ride Games include:
"Let's see how long I can kick the seat in front of me until an adult threatens to physically hurt me."
"I bet I have more video games than you because my dad is a rich Plastic Surgeon and your family is poor."
And the enduringly popular...
"I hate you. You're not my friend anymore."
It's frighteningly official and at first seemed rather silly.
It has it's own referee program.
Mandate: The World RPS Society's mandate is two-fold:
1. Encourage the worldwide use of Rock Paper Scissors as a simple, impartial and effective method of resolving everyday disputes,
2. Provide overall direction, guidance and policy control with the goal of promoting the sport to a wider audience.
RPS around the WorldToday, RPS is one of the most popular games in the world. Players of the sport from New Zealand to Japan to Great Britain carry their World RPS Society membership cards with pride. Officially, the sport is known as Rock Paper Scissors or RPS. However, the informal name differs across the Globe, with variations such as:- Jenken or Jan Ken Pon (Japan)- Roshambo (Southwestern U.S.)- Shnik Shnak Shnuk (Germany)- Ching Chong Chow (South Africa)- Farggling (U.S.)- Scissors Paper Stone (United Kingdom)The 2004 Rock Paper Scissors International World ChampionshipsThe 2004 Rock Paper Scissors International World Championships take place on October 16, 2004 in Toronto, Canada. Up to 1,000 players will compete for $10,000 (CDN) in prize money, and the coveted Championship trophy. Rob Krueger the reigning World Champion of RPS is expected to return and defend his title.
Stupid, yes?
But then I saw these cool-ass stickers.
And these are sweet too.
If you love me at all you'll buy me this shirt.
Or this one.
I wouldn't want to show up without a cool shirt to wear. These R.P.S. Legends might tease me.
They are the world famous... Dennis "Kid Paper" Kerr, Will " The Scissors" Blackwell, James "Rock Man" Lawson, and their veteran captain, Alan "Definitely Rock-- No wait... Scissors!" Cumming.
Four men: Living the dream.
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6 comments:
Good old rock. Nothing beats rock.
I'm confused by the seeming authenticity of the World RPS Society. Is it possible that there is a serious competition built around Paper Scissors Rock? And that its been around for well over a century and have a magazine called "Think Three"? The artwork is indeed, kickass. Check out the hand holding the skull! Check the foreshortening in the index fingernail! I'm not kidding. I want those communist propaganda poster style stickers as well.
A work of warning Kranki: I think the RPS purists might look disapprovingly upon "Rock, Paper, Scissors, Dynamite, Baby Rabbit" as a terrible bastardisation of the game with dire connotations for future play.
RPS. They are legit as far as I know. Amazing.
C'mon How has dynamite or a baby rabbit ever hurt anybody? Oh, bad memories are flodding back into my brain!
Poor little dynamite what that bunny did to him is to horrible for words.
Hee! Those stickers.. how awesome. I especially like that paper is 'stealth'.
'Approaching her target, she was as quiet as a tabloid-sized sheet....'
dynamite...definitely my favorite. keep the bunny. just give me the dynamite. C4 explosives are good too. hard to get those.
;)
Bizarrely enough, Leif gave me that RPS book for Christmas. It's quite amusing, as a pisstake.
tsunami beats everything.
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