That's right. Go ahead and ask me something. Anything. I'll tell you. If it's in the form of a question I will give you an answer. I don't care if it's emotional, professional, academic, logical, sexual, mathematical, spiritual, chemical, ethical, extra-terrestrial, aboriginal, biological, rhetorical... I don't care. I'm going to answer your question honestly and accurately to the absolute best of my ability in under 100 words.
You want to know something personal about me. No problem. That's fine. I'll tell you. I have no secrets to keep from you good people. I will answer ANYTHING. Anything EXCEPT questions about my Uncle Carl. I WILL NOT discuss anything to do with my Uncle Carl. So don't ask. Also, nothing that has calculus, I never got past pre-calculus.
Anything else is fair game. Except the ferret incident. Ask about anything else.
So, Fire away kids.
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37 comments:
The Garden Weasel. (google it) Because it creates a mulch and that's beneficial for your garden. I'm a nurturer.
Good question. I get that a lot.
If you could be either Barbie or Ken which would you be?
Okay I am going to ask the sex question. Okay it's two questions but that's because you may have a negative response to the first query and thought I would go with a followup. I don't recall you limiting to one query per person anyway.
Have you ever experienced sexual dysfunction? If yes, what did you say to your partner at the time? If no, then what is your most embarassing sexual experience/experience with the opposite sex ?
Ewwww, that comment made me feel icky.
Say hi Icky.
Icky: hi!
I want to ask a question, a deep and probing question. A question that will have us both involved in what may possible be one of the longest and most in depth conversations ever known to man. Aristotle: Bah! Plato: Humbug! Kant: Well, the name says it all really...
Fuck, I've forgotten what I was going to ask now...
Ken or Barbie? A seemingly easy question. But it tiz not! I assume that I'd be a living version of Ken or Barbie. If I were full size I might want to be Ken because he'd be about 6ft 8 inches with washboard abs. Yeah, no penis, that's the hard part. If I were Barbie I would be a freakishly tall buxom 7 foot model. I think I want to have genitals and so I choose Barbie. I'd be a Big Lipstick Lesbo with a dream house and lots of accessorties. I can always ring up GI JOE if I get the urge for some soldier penetration. With all those female hormones a girl has got to keep her options wide open.
and interesting answer. I chose Barbie too I think it was the hair.
Paul, only because you asked... Here are some of my favorite posts:
Perhaps I should make a special link to them.
http://krankiboy.blogspot.com/2004/11/whats-wrong-with-america-pictorial.html
http://krankiboy.blogspot.com/2004/12/wife-beaters.html
http://krankiboy.blogspot.com/2004/09/girl-on-girl-action.html
http://krankiboy.blogspot.com/2004/09/everyone-gets-six-bullets.html
http://krankiboy.blogspot.com/2004/08/george-w-bush-man-with-vision.html
http://krankiboy.blogspot.com/2004/08/all-apologies.html
http://krankiboy.blogspot.com/2004/08/sounds-mingled-in-night-air.html
Sorry, I don't know how to make hyperlinks in a comments box.
And if I had to pick one this last one is my favourite.
http://krankiboy.blogspot.com/2004/07/nothing-says-classy-like-coupon.html
A question just popped into my head. Seemed appropriate for the Seppo to help me with.
Why is Los Angeles spelt with LOS and Las Vegas spelt with LAS? What's the difference between Los and Las?
Hi Kranki. I love what you’ve done with the place. I’d like to ask you a question if I may?
How is it that you have an likeness to antipodean humour when you come from a land that doesn’t actually know where the antipodes are?
I agree it is an icky query and I admit I was testing my theory that someone wouldn't answer ANY question even if they said they would. Really you don't have to - I was just messing with your mind ;)
i can field daniel's question should you need me to kranki. not that i doubt your knowledge on the suject.
my question is: why do boys have dangly things coming out of their yayas?
Lushlife I'm glad somebody asked a sex question. I am happy to answer but it will be well over 100 words. I will answer the first part of your question and the second part will be the subject of my next blog - just for you and my other krankheads.
So have I ever "experienced sexual dysfunction?" I have to say as far as being unable to achieve an erection I have mercifully not had to handle such a situation. If I did ever have such a problem I'd probably blame my medication. I have however while rolling high on "Vitamin E" found it impossible to achieve an orgasmic climax which was rather frustrating. "Vitamin E" is better as a cuddle supplement than a sex enhancer. Look for the blog that details my most embarrassing sexual experience in the next 24 hours. It is a good story and I wish to give it a proper literary tribute.
Hi Kranki
I have two questions.
1. In Toy Story, why is it that Buzz goes all inanimate when a human is around like all the other toys when he doesn't believe that he IS in fact a toy?
2. In Toy Story 2 if merchandise from "Woody's Roundup" is so varied and plentiful (ancilliary characters, games, lunchboxes, record players, etc etc) why is the Woody doll itself so extremely rare? Wouldn't the doll of the main character be the most produced item?
These things really do bother me.
"How is it that you have an likeness to antipodean humour when you come from a land that doesn’t actually know where the antipodes are?"
Well I think that it should be noted that in a study done several years ago in the early 1990's it was shown that 40% of American High School Students could not acccurately locate the United States on a Map of the World. So don't think it's anything personal against the antipodes. We are just a geographically ignorant and morally bankrupt society. I thank you for your compliment that my humor is similar to Australia and New Zealand humor. This is due in part to the fact that I have been influenced by the Australian Bloggers who have warmly embraced me and held my humor tightly against their ample antipodean busoms. Not only have they influenced me in that the vast majority of the blogs that I enjoy are written by Australians from Melbourne and Sydney, but I've also always had a strange ability to appeal and cater to my audience. I believe that this urge to belong stems from my early childhood abandonment issues and the resulting need to feel secure and included. This chameleon-like power will cause me to speak and adopt the dialect, accent or mannerisms of the group I am with. It could be It can be any group from Valley Girls, Bogan Dock Workers, African Masai Warriors or Elderly Korean Dry Cleaners. I just have this urge to fit in. I don't know if the desire created the ability or if the ability to do so created the desire. Chicken and Egg scenario. I want to make sweet rumpy-bumpy love to your question... in a mate's way.
I also adore the automatic English translation of this French Antipode Radio Station.
"The stimulating ones and organizers of the bookshop of youth, the Cat Clown in Wavre, await your old children from 3 to 7 years, for matines of told stories."
Do check this out below. Also can somebody please show me how to put hyperlinks in these comments so you don't have to cut and paste stuff that's this long. It's worth it. Reading it makes me laugh and hurts my head at the same time.
http://translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&sl=fr&u=http://www.antipode.be/&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dantipode%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26safe%3Doff%26sa%3DG
my question is: why do boys have dangly things coming out of their yayas?
The dangly things are actually called testicles. The testicles are contained in the scrotal sack. These testicles produce semen which is the medium by which sperm is transferred to the female vagina during copulation. When the male ya ya is properly stimulated it dispurses the seminal fluid into the female's hoo-hoo, yang-yang, tang-thang, fuzz box, bang box, puntang, pussy, silken honeypot, bearded clam, wee-wee well, muff valley, gashtown, coochie hole, fuck zone, axe-wound, snatch, trim, strange, beaver, afro-oyster, baby chute, cum dumpster, hungry kitten, dick slot, cock holster*, hump lump, the pound mound, man bait, spunk catcher, clit cave, O-zone, spunk catcher, fur burger, girl geyser, dicken-pot-pie, vagina, weenie wonderland (genitalia).
The boys "dangly bits" are situated away from the body so that the the testicles are a few degrees cooler than the body temperature. This lower temp is more ideal for healthy sperm production. This is likely the reason that the subspecies of cro magnun man evolved an external... bean bag. This finally lead to the creation of the phrase "Dude, I'm sweating my fuckin' nuts off."
*term originated by YGWIN
Ah, I wish that I could lay claim to germinating the term cock holster, but I meerly adore it to excess, and so perhaps this is why you've given me credit for its creation. I'll take the accolade anyway, because skagging on other peoples genius is almost as good as actually being a genius.
Which is much like winning an Oscar.
So here's my acceptance speech:
"I'd like to thank the academy, my parents, the big god thing in the sky, and my first real boyfriend, Dan, who not only showed me what true love can be between mutually concenting adults, but he also, one drunken night, said this-- I am the cock to your holster"
Romance, Kranki, romance. It's just so important in a relationship.
Also, dicken-pot-pie is a win... win... winner in my book, Kranki.
No exaggeration here. I love you, YGWIN. Not just your lips either. I want to furiously lap up your brainwaves like a hungry kitten on Cream Day.
I also love that you and I are both awake at 5:00 A.M.
please to be visiting nadstown for my next question.
Thanks Kranki - I have to admit when I asked my questions yesterday I was taking a break from some extremely boring work (like devising a Mission statement and saying NO to stupid requests for even more legislative power)and when you offered a more creative opportunity I took it. Looking forward to yr next post.
Consider it Cream Day then.
What is a song you can't stop making you feel emotional when you hear it, even though it is a really bad/cheesy song and you know it is manipulating you shamelessly? In my experience everyone has one. It can't be an actually nice piece of music. Has to be goofy/syrupy like 'The Rainbow Connection' or 'You Got A Friend' or something.
And same deal, but a song that pumps you up and makes you go, 'Yeah!' and do a little air-punch, even though it is a really tragic or cliched song. Eg. 'Eye of the Tiger.' Or similar.
Wait, I'm not sure if I meant that last comment in a smutty way or not... so, take it as you will.
carry on.
Oh, and here is my question for you: When's your next ring ring?
Daniel: In the Spanish language all the nouns are either masculine or feminine. La Comida, the Food is feminine, while El Toro, the Bull is masculine. However this applies to every word. Los Angeles - The angels somebody decided was masculine and Las
Vegas is feminine. Like you might call a boat a she, only they have it for every word.
So:
Los Angeles - the Male Angels
Las Vegas - the female... I have no idea what Vegas means. Neithe rdoes Nadly. I'll check.
Okay Vegas is just a name. It could be related to a bright star in the Lyra system, or it could be from arabic for falling vulture.
Damn I'm working up a sweat for you lovely people.
Cheesy Song that gets me emotional:
-Piano Man by Billy Joel
-Jeremy by Pearl Jam
-Stand By Me
-Bye Bye American Pie
-You Are My Sunshine.
That's actually a real downer if you listen to all the lyrics.
Pump Up Cheesy Song
- Rock you Like a Hurricane by the Scorpions
- Beat on the Brat by The Ramones
- Theme to the A-Team
- I Like Big Butts by Sir Mix-a-lot
- Heart if Rock n' Roll by Huey Lewis and the News
And absolutely
- Eye of the Tiger
- La Bamba by Richie Valens
As for Buzz. I believe that while he was un aware that he was a toy, he still had the toy instincts that tell a toy that when a human is approaching it's best to hold still.
If I had to make a case for why Woody was so valuable, I would have draw on my Star Wars experience. I suppose that there were plenty of Woody Cowboy Dolls, but our Woody is in excellent condition and was never thrown away. Try and find a big size Han Solo doll in mint codition and see what it costs. Plus having a complete collection of anything makes it extremely valuable. But yeah, It's a bit of a suspension of disbelief.
My next Ring Ring could be tonight in a few hours. Tomorrow afternoon at the latest.
First album you bought, and top 3 (or 5) concerts ever. xo
BEVIS said...
OK then - what's your real name?
:)
You said you'd answer anything honestly!
BEVIS
OKAY BEVIS!
My real name is Duke Rockaway.
But I had to change it to avoid being extradited to Argentina.
Did you know that you can call yourself any name you want as long as it's not done in an attempt to defraud someone?
Actually it's very very important that my real name not appear anyplace on this blog as it could cause a scandal and I'd lose my Senate seat or my other job.
So those who know me. Show the love and keep that to yourselves.
love - Duke Rockaway
Desci: I think the first albumn I bought was Billie Jean on cassette.
Best Concerts
1) Is a tie between Radio Head at the Hollywood Bowl... and Ministry of Sound on Halloween 2000
2) Beck and Neal Young in Santa Barbara
3) Air at the Mayan theater
4) Lollapalooza 2 Beastie Boys, Smashing Pumpkins, George Clinton, The Breeders and the then unknown Flaming Lips on the small stage.
5) They Might Be Giants
I found 2 Swiss Army Knives and put this small kid on my shoulders and got on my friend Chris' shoulders.
BEVIS said...
Fair enough Duke, I understand.
Further to your point about legally being able to call yourself anything you like, you are in fact able to claim that your name is pronounced any way you like. Therefore, your name could be spelt 'Bob Ellis', for example, and yet you can claim it is pronounced 'Englebert Humperdink' - and legally, that is how people would have to say your name.
I'm not sure if that's the same thing as what you're saying, but I thought it was interesting nonetheless.
BEVIS
BEVIS said...
Also, another question from me:
Who's your favourite Muppet?
BEVIS
http://krankiboy.blogspot.com/2004/11/making-rainbow-connection.html
You leave for the nunnery and you miss the muppet magic.
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