So just to catch you up in case you haven't yet read your latest copy of The Scouting News, FIVE Scout leaders and ONE Boyscout have been killed in the last few days and hundreds were hospitalized with sun-stroke. I think that their god may be mad at them.
(Link to full articles) SCOUT DEATHS & MORE DEAD SCOUTS
I have proposed some New Boyscout Mottos:
Option 1
Always be prepared... to die.
Option 2
If you can't take the heat stay out of the Scouts!
Option 3
For the love of God, don't put a tent under a powerline!
Options 4
Join The Boy Scouts: You're still much more likely to be molested than killed.
Somebody fucked up big time and people died at a Jamboree. A Jam-bo-ree related death. That's not just tragic, it's also embarrassing. I think that I would rather be killed in a freak butter-churning accident or in the act of giving head to an albino tranny hooker*. My favorite part of the article is that there is somebody with the title of "Jamboree Spokesperson."
Who could have imagined that it would be so warm in Virginia during late July? Idiots.
* picture not available at this time due to legal reasons
Who doesn't love a child in uniform?
At first I thought the arrows indicated which were good touch spots and which were bad touch spots. It's actually a tad gayer than that.
You can write to BOB and ask him a question.
“Ask Bob”
Boy Scouts of America Home
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MOM from Whittier, CA, United States asks: My son has been gone for more than a week now. What is the probability that he has taken a shower? Are there scheduled times for this? How are the facilities?
Your question shows a keen understanding of a youth's priorities. The incredible array of nearly non-stop activities does tend to distract a youth, but the odds are actually pretty good that he's made it into the showers. The shower facilities are downright plush compared to many summer camps, including plenty of warm water, and most adult leaders are quite vigilant about making sure that the boys get showers on a regular basis.
No kranki komment necessary.
© 2005 Boy Scouts of America
Please share a new Boy Scout Motto of you own. The winner will be mailed an actual, official © Krankiboy merit badge for dark comedy.
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11 comments:
Very informative! I want to see more of scouts doing commando training, crawling through the jungle with a dagger between their clenched teeth and smearing blood of their enemies on their faces.
BTW Scouts here like to top themselves by camping under the large spreading branches of a river red gum.
akela, we will do our best
dob dob dob dob dob!
= die on bed/dick our bottoms/drink our beer/devour one booger/dress our body/drill our bladder/damn our blasphemy [choose one]
You'll still get beat up at school, but you'll be able to tie a better knot than those bullies.
You'll have an edge in the job market if you're able to put Eagle Scout on your resume.
Not the best, because nothing beats option 4.
You promised me girls kissing this, and you give me this? Gay.
Can I enter three for the contest?
The Boy Scouts: Why wait until college for your first awkward homosexual encounter.
The Boy Scouts: Where touching is learning.
The Boy Scouts: Memories you'll repress for a lifetime.
Dr. Pompus - Recovering Scout
I think Giggles' 3rd entry and the 3rd from Dr. Pompus have moved into the lead for best new Boy Scout motto.
Those shorts look dangerously high. I am worried about that young man's testicles.
it's alright, the other young scouts can cobble together some new testicles out of damper if need be
"always be prepared"
Fits, while your maternal concern for the scout's scrotum and testes is darling, I don't think that the balls have dropped yet. So he should be okay for now.
"The Boy Scouts - We'll tear you a new one."
Congratulations to Dr. Pompus.
The Boy Scouts: Memories you'll repress for a lifetime.
I have a masters degree in hot glue gun and a minor in pipe cleaner so you know the dark comedy merit badge is gonna be good.
So, Dr. Pompus please email me at krankiboy@yahoo.com and let me know where to send my masterful craftsmanship.
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