Thursday, July 21, 2005

In case you missed the event... which you did.

Here is the transcript of the event that you missed out on. It is the first event I have ever put together where only 1 person attended. It would have been fine if it had been one person, then I could have had a more indepth chat about what's been going on with that person, their love life etc... However as I just saw my wife and spoke with her on the phone this morning I feel I'm pretty up to speed on what's new in her life and hopefully who she's been sleeping with.

I am going to get shit-faced starting now. Below is the transcript of the "magic" event.

I am doing something wrong when I have 180 some odd people reading my blog each day and zero people are able to attend. You'd figure there would be one person in the chat room just by by accident.

I don't need your pity people. I have plenty of self pity to go around. It will all be much clearer when I wake up with a hang over. Maybe I'll start a fight with Kevin Dillon at the party tonight.

Oh and if you could not stop by to say "hey" because you had to attend a murder trial sentencing or you got a paper cut, I totally understand.

It's not that I'm disappointed as much as I am... very disappointed. I still love the rest of you. Just 45% less than before.


Transcript Below:

> This is fucking exciting. Finally I have the entire chat room to myself and don't have to share the spotlight with anybody.> I think I'll read a book while I wait for some form of sentient being with typing ability to show up> Well, look I made my font bigger> Now I've bolded the font> I think I'll go back to non- bold

[Thu Jul 21 18:09:16 PDT 2005] The Fabulous Penny> I would go with italics but that is too flashy Hi there hot stuff>

Hi that's hot> oh christ> who is this?> prove it's you

What do you need sugar?>

that doesn't sound like you penny> you don't call me sugar> you call me fucky bear

no I don't. How about booger>

But fine how are you darling?> What is up with your car?

I don't know. I'm scared to go out and see.>

Pretty crazy chat huh?

Yeah, wild.>

I think I'm going to go take some sleeping pills

You should have invited some strippers to liven things up. just wait. parties always get started late.>

I am actually excited just to have you here> is that sad?

I can only stay a few minutes. Just wanted to hop on and say hi.>

I know> when are you coming home fucky bear?

As soon as I can my little hot blond one if my car lets me>

Hot blonde one?

p. hilton!!>

that's me> have you seen my sex video yet?> it's been out for ages> that's hot

no I missed it. but I would like to see Colin Farrell's>

I heard something about that. When did he make it?

I hope that damn judge lets lifts that restraining order -- a couple of years ago. his ex is now trying to sell it>

Nothing can restrain Colin Farrell's cock . that' hot it is> i liked the comment on Dinner and Movie about Rob Lowe doing...> his video...> back when people were still ashamed of sex tapes.

oh yeah. that was funny>

Cameron Diaz has some bondagish soft core thing floating round> from when she was 19

yeah, yeah. heard all about that. the guy is trying to blackmail her for 3 mil.>

yeah yeah, well leave me to my blank screen> I think I over ordered too much food for this party> perhaps I can now give up on any notions that I have a following

Yeah, you may have. I don't think you have to worry about that.>

3 mill sounds like a fair amount. reasonable.

Just look at the number of hits you have on your site>

Like it would hurt her career...> no pep talk ty


go get in your car and drive home and we can leave for the party early as I don't intend to hang round here> waiting for nobody

k, i will leave soon. love you bye>

I loveyou to. sigh> well that was one visitor. So that technically makes it a chat. I am going to give this failed experiment ten more minutes and then I am going to pout for like 3 hours and then get stinking drunk.


la nadine said...

sorry hotness, i tried to join you but the stupid firewall on my stupid computer prevented me from entering the chatroom.

lets arrange a date next week when i am at home and free to look at porn and chat to whomever i please.

BEVIS said...

I had the same problem, although I'm only suspecting that it was the firewall, as it didn't actually say so. It kept giving me an error page when I clicked on CHAT!

It was very frustrating, as I was really looking forward to chatting with you all (well, with cranky Krankiboy and la nadine, at least!), and I'd even managed to find a twenty minute period where my supervisor was going to be away from my office.

I tried it over ten times and got the same error page.

Sorry Kranki-Pants - it just wasn't to be.

Plus ... you seem to have given up pretty quickly! What about those loyal blogfans who log on later in the two- or three-hour period you had set aside for the chat? Did you just get too Kranki waiting for them?

Know that we love you.

Then have another drink.

fluffy said...

i've been in there for a little while all by myself...

teigan said...

That is so sad. I feel so sorry for you right now.

I would have come but I don't read you regularly enough and missed the advisory.

I feel sorry.

Jellyfish said...

In defense of the others, I have often, of an evening, wandered by said Chat Room and talked to myself for a bit because no one else was there, and the room seemed to evict me and/or prevent me from getting in at all on a rather frequent basis.

And if everyone else's lives are even half as demented as mine it might have been the short notice that kept them away? I usually need about 10 days notice to scratch my own butt.

angela said...

I suck. I read the Australian time, and I thought it was on Friday night my time.
Really, I suck. I was looking forward to it, too.

BEVIS said...

So there you are, Kranki.

Don't be sleighted. Don't feel ignored. Above all, don't get depressed because you think we don't care or didn't like you or wanted to send you a clear message.

If we wanted to do that, we would have decapitated a horse and mailed the head to your bed linen.

No, some of us tried but couldn't get in, some of us forgot, some of us got there after you left, some of us read the wrong time, some of us were your wife and were actually there, and some of us only heard about it afterwards.

May I respectfully suggest that you could have chosen a better time to hold said 'CHAT!'? If you had decided to go with Friday night (your time) instead of Thursday night (your time), it would have meant it was Saturday mid-morning (our time) instead of Friday mid-morning (our time), and very few of us would have been at work - where we have supervisors and firewalls, etc.

I can only speak for myself, however, because on Saturday mornings, many of us also have hangovers and dates with Mr Sandman. (I'm the latter, not the former.)

But it all may have gone very differently, is all I'm saying.

Anyway, I don't know what you're complaining about. At least you've got blog visitors.

I'm yet to see any sign of you having visited MY blog ...

Jess said...

Sorry dear man! I've been sick, flat out at work AND WORST OF ALL unable to access chat from the computer I am on during the assigned chat period.

But I too (Jelly will vouch for me) spent many weeks hanging in your chatroom a few months ago with no sign of the beloved Krankiman, so its not that I'm not devoted.

My heart was there x

kranki said...

So the reasons were.

1) Firewall blockage

2) Tardiness

3) Not enough notice for "event"

4) Papercut and/or Serious Situation to deal with.

5) Confusing Times

6) Illness and lack of computer access.


Okay: Here is my thought. Can somebody kindly volunteer to make a nice little invitation and y'all can then send it out to far too many people so my wounded baby rabbit heart will heal when I get fourty seven people at the next chat. I'd do it myself, but I fucked it up the first time and don't have it in me to try and promote another chat on my own.

Any thoughts on the matter?

Jellyfish said...

PS - you realise my excuse was the paper cut, right? Not the lack of notice? I was just suggesting that for the others.

(And the paper cut was predictably shithouse.)

Desci said...

My excuse was I was at work, and they don't allow us internet access in the saltmines... i mean callcentre. Still love you, though. xoxo