Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Welcome Back to Los Angeles

Since I was a little lad I always had GI Joe action figures and plenty of lasers and realistic looking toy guns. Why do kids like playing war? I won't claim to know. Today the only gun I own is a stun gun. It's handy for electrocuting spiders or as a nice invigorating alternative to that morning cup of coffee. Have I used it on myself? At long last, with some encouragement of Lady R, I did. I fucking zapped myself with the Stun Gun. I did it through a tennis shoe for about 1/4 of a second. The results were a sharp pinching feeling deep inside my toe muscle. This electric shock caused the piggy that usually "goes to market" to instead cry wee wee weee, all the way home.

I don't own a firearm because everyday I would be tempting to use it on one of the fine people who help make Los Angeles the hand-holding, love-in of self-less tolerance that it is.

Are guns bad? Yes. However, despite overwhelming evidence and logic part of me still thinks that guns are really cool. I don't want people to be able to obtain them as easily as they do and I certainly don't support war or violence, but something in my DNA says that guns are cool. I'm just being honest here.

At the moment I live in a fairly nice neighborhood. No violent crime, just the occasional robbery or car break in. Freckle Dick and Ass Breath have kept any intruders away with their "ferocious" barking. However while out for a walk with the dogs a few weeks ago I came across a spent 9mm cartridge.

What does that mean? That means that a 9mm hand gun was probably fired just down the street from my house. I scanned it, as my camera is now lost somewhere in Australia. I hope it made its way into the hands of a poor, young, photo enthusiast.

I still stand behind my Everybody Gets Six Bullets Theory.

Now enjoy this lovely Infomercial


BEVIS said...

I'm just glad I live in Australia, where handguns are illegal, gun-related deaths and injuries are so incredibly few (especially when compared to countries like yours), and silly American tourists leave their cameras lying around for us.

BEVIS said...

PS - I just left a new comment in your 'Six Bullets Theory' post as well.

jude said...

I don't see that. What's the point of owning a stun gun? It's less scary/dangerous than an actual gun, I'll give you that; but still!
Does it really make you feel safer / provide such a great alternative to coffee? I find nothing beats a good cappuccino with lots of foam :)

PS: feel free to comment on my blog even when you have nothing to say, too!

Chai said...

Nunchakus for me, dude.