Saturday, March 11, 2006

I Wanna Be On Ewe!

Fire Chief Caught on the Lamb

You have to respect that refreshing level of honesty. A lesser man might have claimed that the sheep had forced itself on him.

Lesser Man: "She just backed me up into a corner and wouldn't take no for an answer."

I wonder if they'll ban the Chief from visiting the Petting Zoo. "Feeding the goats" was his only outlet from the stressful toils of being an Arizonian Fire Chief.

Thank you to Buck Fudd for drawing attention to this compelling human interest story.

Ride em, cowboy.

Sorry. Take a number ladies. There's a long line for this stud.

I know many of you warm, wonderful and warped people love a good pun. So have a go.

There are just too many good (awful) headlines to choose from. Other options:

Remember. Let the punishment fit the crime.

Me Love Ewe Long Time
Fancy Meeting Ewe Here
Do Ewe Know How Much I Love You?
Fire Chief Finds Himself in Deep Sheep
Fire Chief Sucked in by Seductive Sheep
Sheep Shafter
Ewe Wanna Party with the Chief?
This Guy Wanted in Baaaaad
Man Goes to Extreme Lengths to Get Some Wool
Fire Chief Attempts to Hose Sheep
Sheep Succubus

There are literally thousands of good (very, very bad) headlines to choose from.

Ewe've Got What I Need
But Ewe Say He's Just a Friend
Barn to be Wild
Ewe Know Ewe Want It
Chief, Cause of Sheep-Rape, Discovered
Lust Consumes Ewe
Recipe for Stuffed Lamb
A Quick Roll in the Hay
Reasons Ewe Will Hate Me


You've Got What I Need... said...

That's what I get for being such a bleeting heart these days.


Now where's that fellow from again?

kranki said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
kranki said...

YGWIN: Now I'll give you loverboy's contact info if you promise to be true to him and never try and pull the wool over his eyes.

Anonymous said...

It made me type "nijger." I think your word verification is a racist.

Buck Fudd said...

Actually, I pinched it from Jessculture. Blame her.

hows about:

"Ewe beauty!" (too aussie?)

"Attempted lamb spitroast foiled by Goat"

or perhaps the no-nonsense:

"Fireman rapes sheep".

BEVIS said...

Well, ewe didn't really leave us with many options, did ewe.


"Suspect Acts Sheepish "

"Chief Cops A Feel, Sheep Cops A Go, Goat Cops A Look, Cops Cop A Pervert"

"Ewe'll Never Know If Ewe Never Give It A Go"

"Can I Borrow A Cup Of Sweet, Sweet Sugar, Neighbour / Neighbor?"

"Little Goat Tells Big Goat Of Strange Man Doing Sheep Doggy Style. Animals Exit Barn Two-By-Two. Noah Leads Yet."

"Ewe Have Very Nice Legs; Mind If I Hold Them Up Under My Arms?"

"Goat Girl Spies Odd-Looking 'Sheep Man' In Barn; Calls Goat Man To Flush It Out (Flushing It Out Was Required Afterwards)"

"Goats Feast On Lamb Dinner, With Spotted Dick For Dessert"

"Suspect Had Sheep By The Short & Curlies"

"Cops Disbelieve Suspect; Finds Himself In Another Tight Spot"

"Drunk Man Forgets Best Method Of Counting Sheep To Fall Asleep"

"Hay, Lamb-Chops - You Remind Me Of My Doona - Come Here"

"Simply Stick A Fork (Or Similar) In The Lamb's Rump To See If It's Done"

"Neighbour / Neighbor Found In Barn, Making Very Unusual Daisy Chain"

"Never Rape Someone Who'll Only Bleat About It Afterwards"

I hope that's enough. It's late and I'm going to bed. Hopefully no barnyard animals will be waiting for me.

BEVIS said...

Okay, a couple more:

"Johnson Tries To Steel Wool"

and perhaps the most obvious:

"Johnson's Johnson In Goat's Sheep"

kranki said...

Nicely done:

"Johnson's Johnson in Goat's Sheep"

I have to say it's a favorite.

I also like Bucky's

"Attempted Lamb Spitroast Foiled by Goat."

BEVIS said...

I thought of some more. Is it too late? Here goes anyway:

"Sheep Finds Sex A Real Drag"

"Johnson Gets Horny; Rams His Point Home"

"Chief Tries To Fleece Neighbour"

"Man Told To Get The Flock Off Neighbour's Property"

"Man Acts Like A Real Dag (Hanging Around Between Sheep's Hind Legs)"

kranki said...

Sorry, Bevis. The Museum of Television, Radio and Blogs just informed me that it is to late for your additional puns to be nominated for Best Comment of the Year.

Without rules, what do we have? Fun. Not on my watch, people.

BEVIS said...