Wednesday, February 08, 2006

My Boyfriend, My Girlfriend, My Partner...

A Ms. Fits TM post got me thinking. Sure, I know most of her posts get people either laughing or touching themselves or enraged at the lovely conservative stylings of Prime Minister John "I had no knowledge of that" Howard Administration. Although I think I may have touched myself while looking at Fits post featuring a picture of Amanda Vandstone. It was just to see if I could do it. I couldn't. So my dignity is intact? Great. Let's move on.

You aussies (who I love, literally, yes, in the biblical sense) throw around the term "partner" a lot more than the seppo-psycho Americans. It makes sense to me, as do most things Australian except for Vegemite, the Wiggles and watching Cricket on TV) but it does take some getting used to. Here in the States if somebody says "My partner and I" and they're not referring to business or fighting crime then it's 97.9% likely that they are gay. Case closed, end of discussion, dismiss the jury. The problem is that it gets a bit ridiculous when Americans have been together for 7 years and have a kid or two, and they are still calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend. What we need is an in-between category that comes before fiance that describes a serious relationship between people who are neither engaged or married.

I'm going to suggest we use the term "keeper." As in "Hey Frank, have you met my keeper, Jane?" It indicates deeper caring than b.f. or g.f. and you've obviously been keeping them to yourself. It's just wrong not to get up graded.

Even on the TV show Happy Days they got promoted to Sweetheart status if you were "going steady." I should have been a linguist. I missed my calling.

Good old Happy Days. Remember when Fonzie jumped the shark on his motorbike. I feel that the show had really jumped the shark by that point. Then Mork actually showed up on one episode they were fucking with my alternate reality. Yes, Mork supposedly time-traveled to Al's Diner? I may have strayed of topic.

Cheers (not the sitcom, just good-bye)


Peter said...

I once heard someone suggest "husfriend" for a long-term boyfriend. Can't remember the female equivalent.

Stunning comment, Peter. Top notch.

Enny said...

You certainly would've been a cunning-linguist


I hate using 'partner' coz it sounds like your trying to be adult and mature, when really it's jus nice to be living with someone so you have someone to drink with! I tend to just call him by name and presume that they'll put two and two together.

(Please note, there is very obviously much more to it than drinx!!)

kranki said...

Oh Peter. It's not such a bad comment. Although that's only because you mocked yourself at the end there.

SNAPS indeed. I set you up for that one and caught you like a rat in a trap.

I also find the term fiance very pretentious so I suggest using the term Beyonce.

More than drinx? You've got a keeper on your hands.

sublime-ation said...

Keeper, I don't hate it. Can you come up with one for Stepmother now? Over at Ladycracker's we've been discussing this shocker and the need for a new term.

Zoe said...

Husbang for boys, but no good ones for gels. Although I don't mind "lady friend".

Quirkie said...

You know, you could be Australian about it and call her 'me missus'.

Of course, the male equivalent to this is 'dickhead'. But that could be flattering, in the right context.

Magical_M said...

Ummm, sorry to be picky, but Fonzie didn't jump the shark on a motorbike.

He did it on waterskis.

Wearing the leather jacket of course.

And Joanie made a home movie about it to send to Richie in Korea or wherever he was stationed in the army...

Oops. I obviously watched too much of that show.

I'll just go and slap myself back to normal.