Sucky Day

So, it was just a crappy day for everybody on Saturday. It was as if the world or at least the world around me woke up in a bad mood. I got into an argument with my keeper over whether or not I was in a bad mood. I explained that the notion that I was in less than high spirits was "utter fucking bullshit" and the keeper in question said how much it sucked that I was being so negative. The spirit of Flower Power and the 60s was not wafting in the air. I always feel guilty when I'm in a bad mood when it's a gorgeous day outside. It's like disrespecting Mother Nature. Also I am going to start abbreviating Mother Nature to "Momma Nat" or "Ma Natty." You are welcome to join me in this groundbreaking leap forward for slang or just sit on the sidelines and cheer me on.

So it's later that night and we have just had the absolute worst waiter ever. We are headed back to out friends apartment in Los Feliz. Let me go on a tangent for a moment because I know that Feliz Navidad means Happy Christmas. Does that mean the name of Los Feliz translates to "The Happy"?

End of tangent.

So after dinner we walk across the street towards 7-Eleven, which by the way, is the worst name for a chain of stores that is in fact open 24 hours a day. We are headed to 7-Eleven so our friend Janey could get some drops for her eyes, which were not in any way related to the large quantity of psycho-medicinal marijuana that this person had inhaled earlier in the evening.

We are about to walk into the intense and potent fluorescent lighting of the convenience store when some young Asian chick speeds up and walks in in front of us. She was definitely in her mid 20s but it was clear that she was in the middle of a really bad decade. She looked glazed over and strungout-ish, but what was most noticeable was that her blue jeans were hung rather low. Not fashionably low, like around the bottom of her waist. They were actually drooped down around her thighs and were it not for her ratty pink thong... you get the idea. She was 20 with the red and waffly ass of a sedentary sixty-year- old. She wandered in and we blinked in disbelief and stunned embarrassment for her. Somebody had to be startled because she had no problem wandering over to the fridge and pulling out a tallboy can of beer. I wish I had seen what brand it was so I could know what beer is the brand of choice among L.A. Asian Druggie Whores.

On our way out she again cut in front of us and made her way out the door already well into her beer. It was as if she was a walking billboard for grungy thongs. We watched as she got into the front seat of a long, stretch Limo complete with purple interior lights. Klassy. Leashed to the passenger seat was aan enormous and very chill-ed out dog. It looked like a sled dog. The dog met my gaze and bared his lipstick.

And then Penny made the following brilliant comment. "I feel quite certain that she's already fucked that dog." All I could think to respond was something about Penny's ability to always find life's silver lining.