Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Next Saturday



Rich baby! Next Saturday. That's right suckers. How? Who cares?! She's wearing a bikini and using her laptop while on the beach. I bet you want to be her or fuck her or perhaps both!

Plus, these four superstars certainly need no introduction.



This was the magazine I discovered for The Learning Annex. They offer classes in everything from 'How to Create, Write and Pitch a Reality Show in 48 Hours' to 'An Evening with Chaka Khan.'

My reality show would explore these masterful instructors sharing their wisdom with their deluded students. Anyway, since I'm going to be rich, I won't be associating with the likes of you anymore.

(If you could see my face here you would see that I am scoffing haughtily)

Here are some of my other favorite classes offered at Learning Annex. 3 are made up. See if you can guess which are bogus. C'mon it'll be fun and it's tax deductible*.

1) Stop Choosing Mr. Or Ms. Wrong (Handwriting Analysis for Love)

2) How to Snare a Millionaire

3) Gain A Photographic Memory in 1 Night

4) Learn to Speak Any Language in Just 3 Hours!

5) Become an Unstoppable Woman! How to Achieve Any Goal in 30 days or less.

6) Work with Your Angels to Realize Your Dreams, Potential and Highest Life Purpose.

7) How to Grow Hair in 12 Weeks (Stimulate new hair growth without drugs or surgery.)

8) How to Start a Private Investigation Business

9) How to Exploit the Unrealistic Desires of Others for Profit

10) Know Your Naked Body (Turn bedroom Moments into Minutes)

11) Writers: Create Unforgettable Characters

12) Smell Your Way to Success (How do phermones affect your finances?)

13) How to Make $$ in the Adult-Entertainment Business Online.

14) Cardio Striptease

Something some other guy wrote about the Learning Annex. I know where he lives if you wish to throw your underpants at him.

http://www.vgg.com/et/et_011001_learnannex.html

* How the hell would that work? You are a dumb-ass!

Note: The term "dumb-ass" refers to other people reading this, not you... Idiot.

3 comments:

ms fits said...

I know this is going to look weird under this post, but...


-Hey Witchdoctor, give us the magic words.
-All right, you go: uh ih uh ah ah, ting tangwallawallabingbang

All right!
[Chorus]
ooh eeh ooh ahah, ting tang wallawallabingbang
ooh eeh ooh ahah, tingtang wallawallabingbang
ooh eeh ooh ahah, ting tang wallawallabingbang
ooh eeh ooh ahah, tingtang wallawallabingbang

dou dou doudou dou dou dou
[Chorus]

dou dou dou dou
I told the witchdoctor, I was in love with you
dou dou dou dou
I told the witchdoctor, I was in love with you
dou dou dou dou
And than the witchdoctor, he told me what to do

he told me:
[Chorus]

dou dou dou dou
I told the witchdoctor, you didn't love me true
dou dou dou dou
I told the witchdoctor, you didn't love me nice
dou dou dou dou
And than the witchdoctor, he gave me this advice

[Chorus]

You can keep your love from me just like you were a miser,
And I'll admit it wasn't very smart, (eyeyeyey)
But I went out to find my-self a guy that's so much wiser,
And he told me the way to win your heart:

dou dou doudou dou dou dou
ooh eeh ooh ahah,... (dou dou dou dou dou dou dou)
ooh eeh ooh ahah,... (dou dou dou dou dou dou dou)
ooh eeh ooh ahah,... (dou dou dou dou dou dou dou)
ooh eeh ooh ahah,... (dou dou dou dou dou dou dou)
ooh eeh ooh ahah, tingtang wallawallabingbang

Come on and:
[Chorus]

kranki said...

Please it's 5am here and I am so excited that you have all the words. I was way way off. I don't have to consult me no witch doctor to know you love me true.

That sort of comment shouldn't get me all hot. But it did. Clearly I need help.

flashman said...

I want to become an Unstoppable Woman!