The Book of LIZ

The Book of Liz is the new play from the enormously funny and talented Amy and David Sedaris.

First two very funny people broke the first rule of writing. That rule clearly states... "Write what you know." Unless they both grew up Amish and just never mentioned it. Okay, I'm as impatient as you are so I'll just skip to the end and tell you that the play is about an Amish woman who makes exceptional cheeseballs. Sounds wacky huh? It was like a workshop in how to be a shitty, hacky, sitcom actor. I did smile twice during the 35 minutes that I stayed to watch before the four people I was with unanimously decided to leave. That was probably just gas pain.

Note: I have never walked out on a play before out of respect to the artists involved. In this case I happily made an exception. We fled like Jews from... like Jews from anyplace really. The Jews have it rough right now. But mercifully they were not forced to attend this play.

The question remains and lingers like a sinister, festering zit on the cheek of a 16-year-old girl: How can two such talented and comedically gifted individuals write such a suck-broken-glass from-my-ass play? The answer is simple and one word long. Spectacularly.

Sedaris Kids, even if they say your play is good, well... The performances and the... Um... It all sucked. Unless it picked up 45 minutes in after I'd already fled the theatre.

Tragicish Footnote:
As we left the theatre and got outside we immediately burst into hilarious slams of the lousy performances of the " corny, ham-fisted hacktors." What we did not realize was that some of the cast was waiting offstage outside the theatre and heard every nasty word we said about them. But don't worry, because A) They really did suck (The Director especially) and B) The light quickly turned green and we ran for it when I noticed that a few of the actors had heard our "observations."

Subfootnote: I realize that writing the word "tragicish" is incredibly gay and I will immediately begin sucking enormous amounts of cock first thing tomorrow.


*Enormous Rhino Dick in rectum caused massive internal bleeding. So, to all you smug whores out there, be aware, because dares can turn deadly. Just because he likes to watch and pays extra doesn't mean you're going to have a good night.

Um, that's all.