Thursday, May 26, 2005

God Can Make it Bigger!

This is an email I received today. I'd like to share it with you worthy folks.

Subject: Enlarge Your Penis Through Prayer!

Sounds crazy?

It's not!

Through the power of Christ (our Lord) and FAITH, you can have an embarrassingly large penis!

People will avert their eyes and hasten their step when you cruise down the street sporting a BONER that would make Mary Magdalene blush! And she's a filthy whore!

Love in Christ (our Lord),
-j*


My response:


Dear Enlightened One

Everything made perfect Christian sense. I just have one question before I send you a blank, signed check.

What shall I "cruise" upon? If I pray extra could the Baby Jesus (our Lord) throw in one of those cars that can turn into a boat? I saw one of those once and it was so awesome looking that I felt God enter me which made me tumescent with his love. When I saw that car drive down the beach and roll right into the water and just keep going, it was a miracle. For only God (our Lord) could make such a sweet ride.

Oh and also, can God fix my keyboard? The numberpad accidentally got gummed up with a thick, sticky fluid. I don't want to get any more specific about what type of ejaculatory fluid it was or which Country-Western singer provoked the incident. That's not really any of your business anyway is it? The important thing is the un-gummed up keyboard, the aqua-car, and of course the embarrassingly large penis.

Yours in Khrist,

Krankiboy

3 comments:

Jeremy said...

K - I'm pretty sure it was a parody to start with.

Anonymous said...

that's hilarious! this was a real email you actually received? those emails are so funny. i used to get them all the time when i was on aol. and i'm a woman! i was like, what penis? i wonder what would happen if i would use their miracle drugs? scary thoughts!

kranki said...

Did I neglect to mention that this was a personal email from a friend? I did. Well, it was from my special friend. I don't mean special "meet my lover" special, I just mean unique.

Don't your friends send you email of this nature?