I've been having a bit of a crisis. It could be temporary, but I'm just not enjoying my job like I once did and I'm not sure what to do about it. Is it simply that I'm the type of person that gets bored after doing something after a few years? I think so. It's possibly time to move on to something new but I'm not sure what is going to pay the bills. I'm slightly too old to be a child actor. I'm a bit too young to retire. I haven't found myself writing with a fervor and passion. New things are scary but I need to start thinking about what's next for me. I like the idea of starting a small business but that's also a good way to obliterate one's free time and savings. Something creative would be nice. For now I'm just going to keep on keeping on, see if I can build up my writing muscles, try and turn out some young adult fiction and just keep my eyes and ears open*.
* for a sugar momma.
Let me know if you hear of any that are hiring.
p.s. hi Obtuse-A. I'm jealous that you're off to Berlin.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Musically Burned
It stands to reason that a cool bar with a nice atmosphere should have good music. The Make Out Room is a great place to have a drink. The prices are reasonable, the bartenders are fast, and there's a good-looking and diverse crowd. What would compliment that better than some horrible shitty music? It's not just one bad DJ or even on type of music that I don't like. They manage to find the worst Salsa, World Music, Funk, Hip hop and disco that one could possibly conceive of. It's actually impressive that there are so many bad songs. It has systematically offended most of my friends with it's audio poison. The fact that I keep going despite the fact that I get burned should, at this point, qualify as community service. Even if all the proceeds go to the Headless Orphans on Fire Foundation (HOOFF) I'm still not going there again. I need what's left of my soul.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
WTF Ad
Only a douchebag would make such a suggestion. Advertising is messed up. My friend JJ spotted this and sent it to me.
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2010/8/26/896386/-Want-a-raise-Wash-your-vagina
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2010/8/26/896386/-Want-a-raise-Wash-your-vagina
Staff Retreat
You know you work with a lively bunch of people when the head of school has to ask everybody not to go into town and sneak alcohol back onto the Monastic center grounds to get ripped out of their minds drunk.
Supper Club: Bernal Sound Bites
Snippets of conversation from the dinner as best as I can remember them.
"I have a story about (type of wine) A fortune teller told me that she knew two things about me. That I would like (type of wine) and that one day I would visit a prostitute."
"At our Burning Man theme camp there are giant coffins and crosses and we have a fake Russian Roulette Gun and when the person is killed we lower them into the coffin and say some nice words about them."
"Dawg, this peach, heirloom tomato, cucumber and basil salad is fuckin' tight as a dolphin puss."
"It's easier to hook up on the first meeting if you're a girl. I invited her over to my house to play Scrabble. We never ended up playing Scrabble but we both got triple word scores!"
"I can make people more gay just by hanging around them. You could be my project."
"Exposure to you is enough to make me want cock?"
"We should do a theme Supper Club where we all make dishes that we don't like and see if others do."
"I want to do a Supper Club where we do something like sushi and we have to feed each other and you're not allowed to touch the food you eat yourself."
"You have a wiggle in your walk. Every time I see you leave a room it makes me think of the movie Secretary."
"You guys are going Burning Man shopping together? I'm not even being sarcastic when I say that's adorable."
"Yeah, we can be a bit incestuous, but that's the way it's always been."
"I have a story about (type of wine) A fortune teller told me that she knew two things about me. That I would like (type of wine) and that one day I would visit a prostitute."
"At our Burning Man theme camp there are giant coffins and crosses and we have a fake Russian Roulette Gun and when the person is killed we lower them into the coffin and say some nice words about them."
"Dawg, this peach, heirloom tomato, cucumber and basil salad is fuckin' tight as a dolphin puss."
"It's easier to hook up on the first meeting if you're a girl. I invited her over to my house to play Scrabble. We never ended up playing Scrabble but we both got triple word scores!"
"I can make people more gay just by hanging around them. You could be my project."
"Exposure to you is enough to make me want cock?"
"We should do a theme Supper Club where we all make dishes that we don't like and see if others do."
"I want to do a Supper Club where we do something like sushi and we have to feed each other and you're not allowed to touch the food you eat yourself."
"You have a wiggle in your walk. Every time I see you leave a room it makes me think of the movie Secretary."
"You guys are going Burning Man shopping together? I'm not even being sarcastic when I say that's adorable."
"Yeah, we can be a bit incestuous, but that's the way it's always been."
Solo Travel
It's a bit intimidating, daunting, maybe even frightening. That probably means you should do it.
Travel by yourself!
Whenever possible it's good to push yourself to travel alone. You've heard it before but it's true you'll be 750% more open to meeting new people that way. You won't be so instantly judgmental about those you meet and you can take some time to make an informed opinion about them. Plus they're more likely to take an interest in one person because they don't feel they are interrupting anything. You'll learn how to get around on your own. It's not an alien world. Somebody probably speaks your language and if they don't you'll draw a picture or mime what you need or you'll be forced to pick up some of the language. It's empowering.
Stop and see friends, travel with cool people you meet along the way (for a few days at most) but don't ever let it be anything other that your experience. You can go where you want, visit who you want, do whatever your heart desires that day. If you solo travel you'll never loose your patience with the person you're traveling with unless you're prone to occasional self-krankiness as I am or some of your multiple personalities get into a snit. I never argued with myself about when or where or what to eat. Can I stop for a third cappuccino and skip lunch and eat gelatto then just sit and people watch and not go the museum because I suddenly changed my mind? Can I wander and look at the strange new foods in the grocery store just because? Yep. Can I spend a solid hour taking photos of weird graffitti to get the light just the way I want it? Yep. Is it okay to walk out of my way to talk to that cute Danish girl in the blue sundress waiting for the train on the other side of the platform going in the opposite direction that I just came from and pretend to be lost to strike up a conversation? Yep. As an unknown, wise and sassy, black woman with a waggly finger once said, 'I DO what I want!'
Travel by yourself!
Whenever possible it's good to push yourself to travel alone. You've heard it before but it's true you'll be 750% more open to meeting new people that way. You won't be so instantly judgmental about those you meet and you can take some time to make an informed opinion about them. Plus they're more likely to take an interest in one person because they don't feel they are interrupting anything. You'll learn how to get around on your own. It's not an alien world. Somebody probably speaks your language and if they don't you'll draw a picture or mime what you need or you'll be forced to pick up some of the language. It's empowering.
Stop and see friends, travel with cool people you meet along the way (for a few days at most) but don't ever let it be anything other that your experience. You can go where you want, visit who you want, do whatever your heart desires that day. If you solo travel you'll never loose your patience with the person you're traveling with unless you're prone to occasional self-krankiness as I am or some of your multiple personalities get into a snit. I never argued with myself about when or where or what to eat. Can I stop for a third cappuccino and skip lunch and eat gelatto then just sit and people watch and not go the museum because I suddenly changed my mind? Can I wander and look at the strange new foods in the grocery store just because? Yep. Can I spend a solid hour taking photos of weird graffitti to get the light just the way I want it? Yep. Is it okay to walk out of my way to talk to that cute Danish girl in the blue sundress waiting for the train on the other side of the platform going in the opposite direction that I just came from and pretend to be lost to strike up a conversation? Yep. As an unknown, wise and sassy, black woman with a waggly finger once said, 'I DO what I want!'
Monday, July 26, 2010
London Schmundon
So I find myself getting ready to leave London tomorrow morning. I think I'm doing something wrong. Despite getting to see and stay with my cool friend, Fred (whose company I quite enjoy) I haven't had a very good time here overall. Fred has a lovely apartment and was very accommodating. I also had the option to stay at another friend's place but only did that for my last night because I left my bag there. I wanted to spend some time with her but it just didn't work out with the timing so I saw her all of 6 minutes when I dropped my bag in her room and she hurried back to work. So it wasn't lack of a place to stay that bruised my travel bone.
The only venturing I did was the one day I wandered down to Portobello Road to see the shops, but I wasn't inspired to buy anything. I would have bought a cool Banksy design on a t-shirt but he's now too popular for it to actually be cool to wear one and I doubt he's making money off the design so that's not an illegal something I want to support. After being pressed down a tiny street crowded with hungry and slightly sweaty tourists I couldn't stand it any longer. We were like two-legged cattle with credit cards. I just bought some fruit and headed back to Fred's place. The next day I didn't feel inspired to go off and explore the city at all. I thought I'd go camera shopping or look for a cool leather jacket in some of the top shops in London but I couldn't motivate to go by myself. I actually spent the entire day inside just sleeping late, surfing the net, reading, and playing video games. I didn't do much with my last day either other than hopping on the top of a double decker bus to take in the view and some high-speed people watching and eating some noodles. I did see a guy get arrested by the police for something he must have done on a bus. I also witnessed a very heated argument between lovers. I remember the guy telling the girl that "I was in prison surrounded by the worst of the worst and I kept cool, but now around you I lose my temper! What does that say about you?" I wanted to linger longer but I was afraid it would be too obvious if I just stopped on the street to eavesdrop.
I tried to be friendly and strike up a conversation with somebody on the tube (subway) and made what I thought was a funny comment on their Habitrail box. It's one of those containers for hamsters to climb around and crawl on. She just said "um, I see." There were also several people who bumped into me on the street and on the tube without any hint of apology. I've spent plenty of time in Manhattan and haven't had so many people bump into me in a year there as I did in a day in London. In case you're wondering if I was walking on the wrong side of the sidewalk (No, I wasn't). I did have a nice time when Fred brought me along to a barbecue with some of his friends. I manned the grill like a dutiful American and drank lots of Grolsch beer and a delicious raspberry, cream, and cornmeal cake. Maybe I had one beer too many, in fact. I liked a few of Fred's friends who work in Film and TV as writers, editors and directors. It actually made me realize that I rather miss creating and writing fictional characters for a living.
I did get to chat with Fred's flat mate, Robby who was quite nice and offered to grab a beer if I was around when he got back from work and we watched some Top Gear on the tele together. It's kind of a cool Automobile based interview and documentary show. Sadly the guests were Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz. Part of their press junket to promote the shit out of their shit action comedy movie. I despise the film's title - Knight and Day.
One night after catching a movie we tried to find a place to get a drink but by 11:15 at night just about every place was closed.
Usually I get a jolt of excitement just from being in another country because of the foreign element and all the details and nuances that make cities special but I suppose it wasn't as unique an experience because the language is the same and the fact that I'd been to London 19 years ago.
I don't know if it was my rutty Sunday of lethargy and no caffeine that got me down about my trip or what. I guess I just didn't do anything unique or special enough to write home about and my time in London ended with a whimper. If I had a bicycle or my camera I think I would have had a much better time. I probably should have gone sightseeing or to one of the many museums, but it just didn't sound very enticing. I'd done that as a teenager.
Now I'm going to eat the cheesecake I bought at the supermarket like some kind of Haagen Das anti-mopeyness therapy.
Probably in the back of my head is the fact that I'm in the city of somebody pretty amazing that I once was very, very, very, fond of. Seeing her again would no doubt be intense. I know it would ultimately just upset her to see me again and feel the heart-jabbing and very complicated feelings from the past that I'd dredge up. I have no idea how I'd react. I do know that it hurts me to care for somebody and not be able to connect with them.
Tomorrow I'm on to Italy see my friend Joel and stay at his villa in a town an hour north of Venice for two weeks. I'll buy a good camera and get on a bike or a scooter. I think the festivities or at least the relaxation and quality of food and beverage will take an upswing. A few cute girls to talk to couldn't hurt either, but I'm not holding my breath for that.
Goodbye, London. I hope the next time we see each other we're both feeling more jovial.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Oh right, I had a blog once.
Blog?!
Blog?!!
Oh my God, is that you? How have you been? Bit lonely? All alone in cyberspace with no visitors and no new posts? I hope you don't feel neglected. I'm sorry old pal, you and I... we used to spend real quality time together. Sharing my thoughts with you for better and usually worse. You were my companion, my therapist and my LUVER. Well, not luver, but it seems a good way to end that sentence.
Perhaps now that I'm off on a travel adventure I'll be inspired to write on you again.
It's good to see you again. Are we cool? Are you mad at me for leaving you? I have abandonment issues to so I apologize. I hope we can pick up a bit of where we left off. Plus it's more intimate now that we don't have all those readers.
Can... can I hug you?
Blog?!!
Oh my God, is that you? How have you been? Bit lonely? All alone in cyberspace with no visitors and no new posts? I hope you don't feel neglected. I'm sorry old pal, you and I... we used to spend real quality time together. Sharing my thoughts with you for better and usually worse. You were my companion, my therapist and my LUVER. Well, not luver, but it seems a good way to end that sentence.
Perhaps now that I'm off on a travel adventure I'll be inspired to write on you again.
It's good to see you again. Are we cool? Are you mad at me for leaving you? I have abandonment issues to so I apologize. I hope we can pick up a bit of where we left off. Plus it's more intimate now that we don't have all those readers.
Can... can I hug you?
Monday, March 08, 2010
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