Monday, April 03, 2006

A Robbie Conversation

Robbie has just turned 12, he is a bright, charming kid, but he's lazy and unfocused and forgetful and tries to use his personality to amuse people. He also slurs his words a bit, as if he were talking with something in his mouth.

This morning he approaches me as class is about to start.

Robbie: "Okay Mr. K who would you pick?

Me: Pick for what?

Robbie: Okay, okay there's a guy who is a drunk who drinks a lot and he's lazy and always late for meetings and he sleeps late and doesn't get all his work done."

At this point I have no clue where this is going, but I listen. Robbie is very excited about this.

Me: What's my other choice?

Robbie: Okay, okay! Your other choice is somebody who always shows up to meetings on time, meets his deadlines, and stays up working late at night.

Me: I'd choose the one that gets the job done.

Robbie: Which one, which one though? Pick

Me: The one that works at night.

Robbie: (gotcha) Ha, ha, you chose Hitler!

Me: Hitler?

Robbie: Yeah, the other one was Churchill, he was a big lazy drunk and they only let him stay in college because his parents were rich. Can you believe that he stood up and saved the free world in World War II?

Me: Well, maybe England.

Robbie: But isn't that great that he was a screwed up and he did all that?

Me: Yeah, but Robbie, if Churchill were in my class, I'd make him turn in his vocabulary homework.

Robbie: Man, you're a thunder stealer.

Me: A what?

Robbie: You stole my thunder.

Me: Was there anything else Robbie so that I can maybe start class?

Robbie: Um... oh yeah, I left my spelling homework at home.

Me: What? Why?

Robbie: Because, it was with my other homework. I... I also left that at home.

Me: Where at home?

Robbie: Probably next to my spelling.


BEVIS said...

Smart kid!

Chai said...

If he is not careful, he'll probably gets atomic wedgies in gym classes.

fluffy said...

Dude! You totally chose Hitler! You gotta admit, he got you good there.


jude said...

hee hee

canoe said...

Ahh, Churchill. They just don't make 'em like they used to.

Quirkie said...

Love it love it. Get the kid to teach spelling next time. He'll do it, plus learn it. Kids'll love it. You get to put your feet up and just let it happen.

Unless you're too much of a fascist, of course.

MelbourneGirl said...

quirkie's right. kids love to get up in front of class and take it. turn it around.

pick the right class though. i did it with a bunch of modern day sweathogs; gave three of them a whiteboard pen, we were going to brainstorm something, and before i knew it, the board was covered in their graffiti tags and they wouldn't stop doing it.

kranki said...

I have a special squad of children who keep the other kids in line. I call them the Special Squad or SS for short. Those Jews can be troublesome if you don't keep tabs on them.

sublime-ation said...

Richie sounds remarkably like me when I was a kid.
And Churchill sounds remarkably like me as an adult.
High school teachers hate people like us, but it's a different story later on when they come crawling back to get us to save THE ENTIRE FREE WORLD aka England.

Tuppence said...

Aww, I wish you were my teacher, Mr Kranki.

MelbourneGirl said...

i love the way you have henchmen kranki, to do your dirty work. i once threatened to "take a kid out the back" when he was giving me shit when i was a training teacher. he said "you can't do that" and i said, "you know that, and i know that, but haven't you ever done something you're not meant to?" he shut right the fuck up after that. not one of my prouder moments i confess now. lucky i got registration i guess.

and sublime you're right, high school teachers do hate people like you. but primary school teachers LOVE people like you. it's amusing when you're little but in high school the teachers are so scared you're going to riot or be smarter than them or make the whole class laugh at them.

kranki said...

Tuppence: There must be something I can teach you. Can you spit really far? Throw a football?

Ukulele said...

Kranki, but you could get him on a technicality….Churchill used booze for medicinal purposes as he was a manic depressive. Jr.’s quiz did not reveal all of the options transparently which, given that this information came from a kid who can’t spell is not surprising.

Hehehe. You chose Hitler

Count Coonicko(SATIRE) said...

Bush is more popular now that Churchill was in UK at the end of the War...go figure..