Saturday, April 22, 2006

My Very Excited Mother Just Served Uncle Ned Pizza

Hey y'alls sorry I've been away. I've not felt any blogspiration of late. I just returned from a 3 day 2 night field trip with 28 students. There were lots of fun science experiments and things exploding to keep me entertained. I think the kids may have had fun as well. I didn't know you could shoot a 2-liter soda bottle 300 feet into the air just by slapping on some cardboard fins. Shattering pennies and balloons using liquid nitrogen. Perhaps the kids learned something as well. Nobody broke any of their bones (at least not in my group). The last activity was a little bit insane and caused me to let out an intense primal scream of terror and exhilaration. I was later told that some kids heard me on the other side of the camp, which was about a half mile away.

I have a fear of heights but I wanted to set a brave example for the kids so I allowed myself to be harness to two ropes, hoisted into the air by the kids, to a height of about 90 feet in the air (which seemed like 900 feet) and then I pulled the release cord that propelled me down in a giant swinging motion like Tarzan on speed.

I am proud to say I did not shit my pants. Woot!

You Aussie adrenaline junkies would have loved it.

But it's not just about fun. Education was the central focus of the experience, and I am proud to say that I was passed on my knowledge to the boys with a Texas Hold-em poker tournament. Two words of advice.

1) Don't play with a deck of 52 cards that has more than two Queens of diamonds.

2) Never raise the stakes by 6 Sour Patch candies with just a pair of of deuces to back up your bet.

Smell ya later...


Enny said...

My Very Elderly Mother Just Sat Upon Nephew Peter

Magical_M said...

What kind of pizza?

BEVIS said...

C'mon, tell the truth. There was just a little bit of poo, wasn't there.

kranki said...

Poo? These are fifth graders. They're quite good at not crapping themselves.

Peter said...

Dude, your mneumonic needs some work. Check it:

My Very Evil Mother Just Sliced Up Nine People.

Given the success of low-budget slashers of late, that one should be a hit with the kids.

BEVIS said...

No, I was talking about you. Your quote:

"I am proud to say I did not shit my pants. Woot!"

< repeat question here >