Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Weekly Wrong #16 - The Ugliest Dog in the World

Krankiboy - 05 Feb 2008

You can be sure that dog breeding has gone Wrong when something like this results.

Yesterday I was at the park romping with my dogs, Ass Breath and Freckle Dick when a friendly blond-haired gal walked over to say hello. She had her creature on a leash. As it got closer I realized that it wasn't a dehydrated pig in a mo-hawk with a hyena snout sewn on. It was one of those scary-looking things that people actually pay money for. The breed is called a Chinese Crested. Why anybody would want to actually go out of their way to breed this dog into existence is beyond my comprehension. Let's give it a head of hair but only wisps of hair on it's body. It's like a big, spotted water rat had sex with Yoda and this was the result.

I was actually repulsed by the site of this dog with a white pompadour on it's head and wisps of hair on it's liver-spotted back. It was being friendly so I bravely gave it a pet on the back. This was a mistake. It's texture was not of this world. I can only describe it as being similar to petting the wrinkly, chapped ass of an old lizard man. I think I actually looked at my hand to make sure none of it had rubbed off on me. I tried to smile at it's cute owner but I think she could tell that I was a tad nauseated by her "baby" and walked off. I needed a beer to steady my nerves after the encounter.

They just look like aliens, or gremlins who have been in some kind of freak accident involving acid or a fiery explosion. Even the "cute ones" look like this. Little Alien Freak...

The one at the park reminded me of Ziggy Stardust because of his white mullet. Sometimes the white hair makes them look like the zombie corpse of Andy Warhol. Here is Pee Wee the dog that proudly holds the title of Ugliest Dog in the World. Guess what breed it is.

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