Friday, December 31, 2010

RIP 2010

I didn't like much of 2010. Most if it straight up sucked dead pigeon pussy. Exceptions include my summer trip to Italy and getting a visit from my friend the B! I am extracting those and a few other tidbits from the year that was. It was not a year of hot sex, carefree delight, and inspired dance moves covered in chocolate. From the personal to work to political to economic, entertainment, physical, emotional, etc... In all those spheres 2010 managed to eat a huge helping of hot walrus feces. From the start of the year with earthquakes in Haiti followed by BP's oily black money shot all over the face of the Gulf, bad shit happened to millions of good people.
In fact, before it's even gone I'm going to kill 2010. I'm not going to let it leave gracefully like other years. I'm going to murder it. I'm going to murder it and bury the body deep in a swamp so rats and alligators and leaches will devour it and nobody will ever find it again. I'm also going to make it watch a double feature of Human Centipede and Outsourced just to let it squirm a bit as it stands duct taped to a cactus awaiting its demise.

I'm going to use a pliers to take out it's teeth and a hedge clippers to snip off its finger tips. I shall personally suck the eyeballs out of 2010's skull myself and then eat them so no retina scan can be conducted in an effort to piece together what might have happened in 2010.

You know what? I don't even feel bad about these actions at all. 2010 deserved it. It was asking to be murdered. It pushed the limits of mean, wrong, and disappointing behavior and it has got to pay the ultimate price.
In the future when historians and others are trying to recount events it will go like this.

2007, 2008, 2009, 2011, 2012 - just gone!R.I.Pieces 2010

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