Monday, August 07, 2006

Aussie Anecdote

The vast majority of my readers (a.k.a. Davethescot) have demanded an anecdote:

Here is the first one that comes to mind.

Just before heading to the Meredith Music Festival in Australia I met this dude named Dangerous. Despite his scary sideburns he seemed nice enough and shared some joy pills with me. As the sun began to set this fellow Dangerous went out of his mind on drugs and he kept calling me Kranki-Cunt really loudly*. In my drug-addled sensitive puppydog haze I wandered away from this strange man to escape and hopefully find solace in the arms of hot sweaty dancing Australian women.

Many hours later, when my first foray into international flirting almost lead to a fist fight, I wisely decided to return to the campsite. A tactical retreat. However it was now very dark and I was most righteously stoned and lost in this strange land. I walked about for what seemed like hours and finally concluded that I was full-on lost. I started to panic realizing that I was on the other side of the Earth in the dusty outback with no clue what to do. Druggie tears began to well up in my big dopey eyes.

Just then, far in the distance, I heard the familiar sound of loud Scottish foul-mouthed boozhound talk. Allah be praised! I was able to follow these sweet, dulcet tones back to my campsite and tuck nicely into a warm friendly sleeping bag.

Thanks Dangerous. The next night I found Jesus but that's another story.

* It was actually perfectly normal drunken Scottish conversation volume but I didn't know that at the time. I also wasn't culturally aware that being repeatedly called a Kranki-Cunt was a sign of affection.

5 comments:

davethescot said...

OK OK, enough with the anecdotes already.

fluffy said...

I liked it. Please, Anti-social Asshole, continue.

*glares at davethescot*

canoe said...

You didn't know the word cunt was a term of affection? Isn't it a term of affection everywhere?

kranki said...

No. It's actually considered a very vile thing to call somebody here in America. Arent we just a jangly bag of cunts here?

BEVIS said...

Yes you are.