Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Welcome to LAX

I landed in Los Angeles International Airport to begin a visit a few weeks ago. The moment I got out of the terminal and out to where cars and cabs pick you up a woman who looked as if she worked for the airport was in my face. She was a black woman who looked to be in her mid forties. She immediately approached me and rather than provide me with travel assistance we had the following (as best as I can recall) conversation.

Her: Hey sugar, how are you?

Me: Fine, thanks.

Her: How are you fixed for a mistress?

Me: A mistress?

Her: Yeah, I bet a good-looking fella like you got a girl but I bet you ain't getting the dark chocolate goodness on the side, is you?

At this point she puts her hands on my waist and pulls herself next to me as I look desperately for my friend who is supposed to be picking me up.

Me: Um... Of course I have a mistress. Don't I look like I'd have one?

Her: Are you a rock star?

Me: Do rock stars fly on South West?

She takes me by the hand.

Her: No, but I bet you could rock me real good.

Me: You explain that to my wife okay?

Her: I'm just playing with you sweetie.

Then she lets go of my hand and spanks me on the ass.

It was odd to have my physical space violated by a woman like that. If the genders had been reversed it would have been almost criminal.

I can't help but wonder what the hell she does there or if she even works for the airport. Her ID badge and clipboard suggest that she does but I'm at a loss to imagine how she could keep a job if she does that to people at the airport. I don't imagine people are less easy going than I am and it was a bit much even for me.


Joe said...

Can't believe you didn't tap that.


Enny said...

Oh man - how random!!!

I got visit the US :o)

Enny said...

Durr - I'm also home with a cold atm!
It should have been, I'VE got TO visit the US :o)

Melba said...

This is why you need to keep with the bloggy goodness.

kranki said...

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Victoria said...

omg that is hilarious. hello stranger. thanks for the morning giggle.

love your response to her!