Monday, March 02, 2009

Frisky Business

So I'm really excited to be starting my own business. It's a match making service for animals looking for love. It's a difficult time to be launching a new business with the economy in such a state but an idea this brilliant is going to rise above the tide of mediocrity and financial strife like a champion surfer catching a monster wave. San Francisco has a tremendous number of dogs and cats. That's partly due to the fact that there are lots of crazy old aging hippie cat ladies living here and old dudes that are so burnt out from smoking so much pot/and or being mentally disturbed that they choose only to interact with canines. So that's a plus I have going for me.

Animal orifices truly are an untapped market.

Now the only things I have to figure out are...

1) How to ask for a loan from a bank for a business that helps animals fuck each other.

2) How to get the owners to pay me for something they can get for free at the park.

3) What to do if there are especially kinky requests for the type of animal sex desired.

4) What will the logo on the side of the van will look like?

There is great potential for a variety of side products such as animal sex toys, strap-ons, cat and dog specific contraception for non-neutered animals.

The sheer variety of meat-related lubrication flavors are staggering.

Perfumes and aromas could enhance the romance even more. Why not splash on some Cat Scratch Fever scent kitty cologne before getting randy with that Siamese? Why not a bit of Toilet Water scented toilet water to make that beagle smell just a touch more regal?

Maybe even a line of post-coital cigarettes for dogs and cats. They'd even have a neck strap that attaches to the collar for easy smoking.

It's just in its humble beginnings now but one day (fingers crossed) there will be Frisky Business vans rolling all across the country transporting sexually satisfied animals to and from pleasure town.

p.s. I found a sponsor to help me get the business off the ground.

5 comments:

Bongani said...

It's good to have you back

Jellyfish said...

O hai.

ladyb said...

*wees*

Claire Miranda Roberts said...

tehehehe...

kranki said...

Bongani. I've missed you, sir.

HAI, Jelly!

*offers fresh pants to ladyb*

*snickers with Claire Miranda Roberts*