Fickle are Friendships

Holy Cow, I got some comments. I must say I was delighted to find that there are brave men and women out there willing to forgo doing something constructive to not only read my blog but to take the time to comment. You are all beautiful people in my eyes. I should also say that I am running a high fever and am on two different kinds of cold medicine so it will be interesting to see what my fuzzy and borderline delirious mind decides to tell my fingers to do.

I think I want to write about friendship because I've had a great many over the years and very few have lasted. I wonder sometimes if perhaps I become tedious to people after a while. I think I can be charming when people first meet me but perhaps the novelty wears off in time. Maybe I'm not a happy enough person so people don't want to put up with my dark episodes. I'm not rich, or successful and I can only rarely score you free tickets to see a cool band. I try to be a good listener and give helpful advice.

Maybe friends are just like shoes where you try on different kinds and different styles to see what fits you and some go out of style or just get worn down from years of use.

It would be so much better if the good friends we had were always there to be good friends and ports in the storm. But the reality is that many times we choose our friends based on what they can do to help us and we give just enough to keep getting what we want from them.

To me friends are especially important because I don't have any brothers or sisters or a very large family so it's hard for me when good friendships come to a bitter ending or as is more often the case just drift away. Sometimes it's because somebody moves or gets absorbed into a Borg-like relationship but other times I can't even tell how or when it happened.

Since I moved to a new city just over a year ago I've worked very hard to try and carve out some friendships and it's been work at times. I've also been trying to reconnect with some old friends through email but even in the few cases where there has been an inital response that is tremendously positive the emails just stop coming.

Some people are too busy to have friends that aren't going to move them up the social ladder or help their career. That's unfortunate because for me having true friends is what makes it all worthwhile.