Friday, March 07, 2008

Fickle are Friendships

Holy Cow, I got some comments. I must say I was delighted to find that there are brave men and women out there willing to forgo doing something constructive to not only read my blog but to take the time to comment. You are all beautiful people in my eyes. I should also say that I am running a high fever and am on two different kinds of cold medicine so it will be interesting to see what my fuzzy and borderline delirious mind decides to tell my fingers to do.

I think I want to write about friendship because I've had a great many over the years and very few have lasted. I wonder sometimes if perhaps I become tedious to people after a while. I think I can be charming when people first meet me but perhaps the novelty wears off in time. Maybe I'm not a happy enough person so people don't want to put up with my dark episodes. I'm not rich, or successful and I can only rarely score you free tickets to see a cool band. I try to be a good listener and give helpful advice.

Maybe friends are just like shoes where you try on different kinds and different styles to see what fits you and some go out of style or just get worn down from years of use.

It would be so much better if the good friends we had were always there to be good friends and ports in the storm. But the reality is that many times we choose our friends based on what they can do to help us and we give just enough to keep getting what we want from them.

To me friends are especially important because I don't have any brothers or sisters or a very large family so it's hard for me when good friendships come to a bitter ending or as is more often the case just drift away. Sometimes it's because somebody moves or gets absorbed into a Borg-like relationship but other times I can't even tell how or when it happened.

Since I moved to a new city just over a year ago I've worked very hard to try and carve out some friendships and it's been work at times. I've also been trying to reconnect with some old friends through email but even in the few cases where there has been an inital response that is tremendously positive the emails just stop coming.

Some people are too busy to have friends that aren't going to move them up the social ladder or help their career. That's unfortunate because for me having true friends is what makes it all worthwhile.


Enny said...

Hey! Hope you're feeling better :o)

Sometimes I wonder if I have the friends I do because I've had them so long it would be hard to be rid of them... but I guess the longevity must be a good thing, even if I don't agree with their views all the time? Although, even if there are times I don't want to catch up with them, I usually feel better after seeing them, so that's got be a good thing.

kranki said...

I am on the mend thanks for asking Enny. I'm hoping to be able to go outside soon.

I think friendship is more about personal support more than agreement with somebody's politics and lifestyle.

Are there a few old friends that you would like to be rid of if it weren't such a complicated process?

Enny said...

I'm not sure!

Sometimes I think yes, sometimes I think so way.

I just wonder if I need more, or some who are more like me, or more... I don't know... something!

Melba said...

i think i become tedious to some people after a while too. i'm not sure if you were joking, but i'm not. you'll probably find this comment gets tedious quite soon, i just can't reign it in, i'm hopeless like that, never been a snappy commenter. i'm working on it. "Hi my name's Melba and I'm a tedious commenter."

i can also work the charm, but then if i stop trying, i'm not very charming.

i'm one of those full-on people(maybe less so in real life, more so in blogworld) that people get sick of i think. but having said that, i have friends i've had for 20+ years, and then the more recent ones which kind of tick along, and some people have fallen off along the way.

i guess i'm not very good at hiding my flaws, i guess i don't even try. as i get older i think fuck it more and more. as seinfeld said, i don't need any new friends, not interviewing, not hiring. i feel a bit like that. but there's always room for one more interesting person.

ps i've cut this comment by half to make it less... tedious.

Anonymous said...

Hey Kranki,

I'm still here for ya', 18 years and counting!!


sublime-ation said...

*kisses Melba*


BEVIS said...

How about friends you've never met who live on the other side of the planet and send you useful kitchen implements when yours are cruelly confiscated by your ex-wife?

I think those are the BEST kinds of friends.

I also have a fondness for Melba.

Sherriff said...

I have a weird thing where allthe people who like me start with end up disliking me, and then all the people who think I am intolerable to begin with, end up my lifeling friends.

I miss you too mister. I keep buying lottery tickets. And I keepchoosing the numbers that are not on the ticket. Next time I buy one I will say something outrageous like, this ticket must win so I can see Kranki or otherwise....insert something threatening here.

That should do it. Scare the freak outta the Universe and it shall provide.


kranki said...

I am pleased that anybody related to this post. I long to have friend that accept me for my flaws and love me anyway. I try to find friends with flaws that happen to suit my lifestyle.

Thank you for taking the time to write to me. Sometimes it really gives me a lift to know I'm not alone in my aloneness.