Walking the Dogs and Watching the Neighbors Watching their Porn.

Friday, July 14, 2004 

I just walked the dogs and the neighbor around the corner really should close his blinds when he's going to watch hard-core* porn.  If I had the guts it would have been fun to knock on the door loudly exclaiming "Fire Marshall!" and see if he or she (I didn't actually look to see) would answer the door. TANGENT I think that it is easier to be a man generally because you don't menstruate and you don't have to sit to pee and you have about sixteen fewer emotional responses than women. Or maybe men just have several different kinds of anger. Oh, right so I think that the male erection and how inconvenient and embarrassing it can be especially when you're 14. At that age you have no clue as to what might set it off. There are so many hormones pulsing through your body that nearly anything could prompt a salute from the little soldier. The teacher can write something on the board in smooth, cursive writing and that could do it. Some girl could raise her hand and say problem number three on the math homework was "really hard" and bam the soldier is at full attention. I don't know how I got through Junior High School wearing sweat pants for a year (jeans were itchy). I must have been a late bloomer. Maybe my soldier didn't get promoted up the ranks as quickly as some of the others. Perhaps his ammo wasn't fully-- CENSORED------------------------------------------ Of course it was pretty difficult to get turned on by the girls in Junior High. Most of them had acne, braces or both. And many were a good foot taller than the boys. Biologically speaking, I don't see why girls develop faster than boys. How did evolution decide that was helpful for our species? Maybe it was so the young cave women could fight off the wussy little males and only get impregnated by the young man with the strongest seed. I think I give entirely too much thought to the things that wander uninvited right into my mind. I started out just taking the dogs for a walk and I ended up with a Cavewoman gang bang scenario. I apologize to my Ego and Super Ego for the brazen crassness of my ID. And to you dear reader. I promise the next post will be about kittens and cinnamon sticks. I'm ill. I should be euthanized.

 

* not to be confused with the ever popular hard corn porn  and such sinful things of that nature.

FYI:  When I did a perfectly innocent Yahoo! search for a good image of corn sex I got this disturbing picture.