The Moonbounce Encounter

It was the 4th of July.

Not only was there a party at K's bro's place but the entire block had been closed off to traffic. There were at least 2 DJ's there. One DJ looked like he was easily pushing 70 years old. Well there I am soaking in all in as DJ "Pacemaker" pumps "She's a Brick House" out of his Korean War-salvaged speakers. I've got a nice vodka-buzz as I watch the Red White and Blue flashes of DJ Pacemaker's light show magic. SFX galore baby!

There were lots of people there, in the street and on their lawns grilling food with chairs set up to watch the fireworks display. But you're thinking... "Wait. That's not a party." Something's missing... You know it. The Moonbounce. So, after I emptied my red plastic cup of it's contents several more times, the moon bounce started looking pretty good to me. My friend "K" and her roommate "A" convinced me to go with them on the moonbounce. That's for kids, right? My wife Penny gave me the thumbs up, which was her way of saying "You go ahead without me, I don't feel like puking up hotdog." So, it's sneakers off and onto the moonbounce with "K" and "A." We're in there, we're bouncing, there are a handful of little kids in there too. We're having a grand time. The fireworks are shooting off into the night sky above. DJ Pacemaker begins blasting "Born in the USA." The music's thumpin', I'm wasted, bouncing with my gal friends to Springsteen and there are fireworks. What more could I want?! It's one of those absolutely pure moments of contentedness. Which is immediately broken up when this little kid bounces up and- WHA-KOW! Drop kicks me in the nuts. I'm hit and I'm down. I look up to see this five-year-old little Hasidic Jewish boy charging in to finish me off. I know this because he shouts the little boy kung-fu war cry - "Heee-Yaahh!" He tries to elbow slam me while I'm still down. However, using my veteran street fighting savvy I roll out of the way just in time. Missed me. I bounce away, but here he comes again wide-eyed and hungry for battle. I manage to bounce my way around, avoiding the little Tasmanian or perhaps Israeli Devil. I'm thinking, why is this kid coming after me? Perhaps he's upset with the recent shift in US-Israeli foreign policy? Nope, he's just a five-year-old boy hopped up on SUGAR! He's clutching two Wolverine figures in his hands, wielding the pointy plastic things as if they were claws. I do my best to bounce around avoiding him and trying to have fun with this high stakes game of Cat and Mouse. After a few minutes of this my stamina totally gives out and my legs begin to get heavy with fatigue. My Little Wolverine nemisis seizes this opportunity, and deftly leg tackles me like a strong-safety. I hit the rubber floor of the moon bounce and manage to get to my knees. I remember what Cobra-Khan told Johnny in the big match and I sweep karate kid's leg. VOOSH! He's down. He's lost one of his claws. Unrelentingly he crawls for me. I point out to him that my leg sweep knocked the yarmulke right off his head and he reaches to retrieve it. This is my window. My chance to escape the Moonbounce. I scramble to stand up. Mistake. I should have crawled for it. Just as I get up the sway of the moonbounce knocks my feet out from under me. I fall kneecap-first right onto the hard plastic Wolverine toy. I wince in pain and that's when my attacker strikes me with a swipe to the face. The tiny claw of Wolverine gingerly scratches my cheek and it's over. He's finished me. Goliath has fallen. I meekly roll out off the Moonbounce grab my sneakers and flee the scene as the fireworks display comes to it's crescendo behind me. I slip my sneakers on and lumber off on weary legs. The sound of Springsteen slowly fades from my earshot. Soon the sound is gone. Just a memory lingering in the air of the night sky.