I figured I've gone thirty years without taking an IQ test. I'd better do it before my brain starts to shrink. Isn't that upsetting. They say that happens to men as they age. Not women. Just men. Of course the ears and nose and body hair continue to grow like a tapeworm on steroids, but the brain shrinks. It does explain why old men get so mad when we kids hit a ball into their yard. When I'm old I think I'll just milk it for all it's worth. Honeylumps, can you get me another Gin and Tonic my brain is shrinking.
So here are my IQ test results.
Your IQ score is 131
This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others. I think I made it to smart by 2 IQ points. But I did have to pee really bad part way through the test.
Your Intellectual Type is Visionary Philosopher. This means you are highly intelligent and have a powerful mix of skills and insight that can be applied in a variety of different ways. Like Plato, your exceptional math and verbal skills make you very adept at explaining things to others — and at anticipating and predicting patterns. And that's just some of what we know about you from your IQ results.
Visionary Philosopher?!
Oh... Yeah, absolutely. Plato and I are like two peas in a pod. If Plato were around today he and I would be way tight. That's my boy there. That's Plato! We be kickin' it back at his phat crib. We're talking mutha-fucking off da hook toga parties every weekend. Tons of crazy-ass fly hot sexy nubian bitches. Gettin' ourselfs a little hot tub luv rub. Platey, he loved to tap that tang. We'd even get us a midget butler cuz that shit would be funny. You ring our bell and this little dude in a tux answers the door and he got a big ol' afro. Fuck man, you know it. Plato and me be sippin' on gin and juice with our minds on philosophy and philosophy on our minds. And you know the Platester would have mad love for the chronic-- Super Sonic chronic.
The rap would go like this. Check it now.
(Get a thumpin' beat rappping snoopy snoop dog style)
Plato would be my numero uno bro.
The sleek Greek always gets with da ho. Even more than that he loves da young boys you know.
Hold up. Whoa!
Yo, I ain't down with the NAMBLA love- Oh no!
Let the geeky Greek Freak get hiz-self busted by Five-O.
He'd be some bad nigga's bitch with his ass white as snow.
That old Grecian queer oughta be on Death Row.
He'd get his bald head mugged and tugged like a buncha bored kids grabbin' at Playdoh.
Smart boy'd be passed 'round like a cigarette, then stomped out on the cell block flo(or). And that'd be the end of the late great philosopher Pla-to.
Those IQ tests are freakin' bunk as a three-dollar bill. But if y'all wanna take one, he're the place you can go to do it. Peace out.
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Word!
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