Girls Are Raunchy!

I found myself sitting in class on a Saturday at 8am.  We wouldn't be free to go for another seven hours.  It was like being in a boring remake of The Breakfast Club.  Pretty bad punishment for somebody who's never been convicted of a felony. 
(hey, no body + no weapon = no  murder) 
 
I found myself wondering what other things besides a Masters degree that I could have bought with 30 thousand dollars.  The list was long.  I really don't think that you earn a degree at this place I think you just buy it and show up.
 
This particular class was on Teaching Literature to Children, which is normally one of my favorite topics, but not a good way to spend your Friday night and all day the following Saturday.  The "professor" was talking to us as if we were seven years old.  She had this kind of Minnesota-accent sing-songy little squeaky voice that caused me to question my career choice whenever it went up in pitch.  Which was often.  She'd say things, like, "Now, didn't you hear what I just said?  I said I don't want you to be filling that out that right now.  That evaluation is to be filled out in the privacy of your own home." and "Now is the time we need to put our computer screens down, okay?  Great."  I kept waiting for her to trip up and accidentally call us "boys and girls."  I was taking down  some notes and listening to her but she called on me because I wasn't giving her my full attention.  I'm thinking.  I'm sorry, I was under the impression that I was paying to take this class?  Lady, please shut up and stop pouting because we're all human and humans get bored.  I was sitting at a table with three of my very favorite female masters credential peers.  Two of students had given a presentation on a book about clay pottery and they handed out Playdoh.  It was something to do, which kept me from going insane and leaping out of the window bellowing a mighty Xena war cry as I hit the pavement.  Had we been on a lower floor I would have given the window jump option more consideration.  A bit later, the teacher lady was busy on the other side of the room, so we had a chance to talk amongst ourselves.  You know, like adults often do.  The conversation will show you how rivited we all were by the professor's words.   
 
My friend points to the orange Playdoh that I'm using to shape into a monster eyeball and out of nowhere she says.
 
Lady R: "I had to take medicine one time that made my pee that color.
 
We all nod with puzzled acknowledgement of this statement.
 
Lady R:  (ever-curious) "Have you ever peed a different color?"
 
Me: (reaching)  "When I was younger I think I took something that made me pee a bit green once."  
 
Kyle: (kinda proud)  "I once made a green poop."
 
Me: "Yes, Kylie, we're all very proud of your high fiber diet."
 
Kylie:  "Nooo, it was this bread we ate with dye in it for St. Patricks day.  My crew coach came up to us and asked,  Did you guys poop green?  Mine was green."
 
Barbara-Anne:  "If you eat beans it can make your poop bright red.  The first time I did that I was like (feigning shock)  Am I bleeding?"
 
Kylie: " (playing along, musing)  Did I have anal sex last night?"
 
Barbara-Anne:  "(casual)  Hmmm... I don't think so."
 
Damn, girls!  That is the first time in almost a year that friends have been able to shock me with something they said.
 
You treat adults like kids and they will act like kids.  Plus I'm a wise ass and Kylie has ADD.
 
Now enjoy this entertaining yet completely unrelated video clip.