Thursday, October 29, 2009

Hand Me My Stabbing Knife!

I am cranky like a mother fucking fuck-fucker today. I don't know where it's coming from but I am irritable and angry. Things that would normally not phase me at all are getting under my skin. I'll provide an example. My coworker went to get coffee and paid for my coffee and a pastry but took fifteen minutes longer than it would normally take and I was hugely pissed off.

Things that happened today that were actually annoying were magnified by a factor of 10. It's amazing none of the little kids got punched in the mouth today. Fortunately for them I have extreme reserves of patience for children and almost none for adults.

Maybe I need to break something or fuck something or break something by fucking it. I just have these strange swells of anger today. Maybe some deep repressed memory is coming to the surface. Pent up hostility? Perhaps I've realized that I have wasted the last 10 years of my life and I'll never get them back. Maybe I'm tired of living in San Francisco and being a teacher. Today I even hate the word "teacher." Maybe I feel like I'm being a good human being day in and day out and I'm not getting anything for it. Maybe I'm angry because I've realized that it doesn't work that way. Maybe I'm extra angry because I don't know why I'm angry.

Instead of trying to analyze this mental state I find myself in any further I'm just going to sleep. You people with more energy can go out and find a deserving recipient that you can bitch slap right across the face. You can wear your pimp rings or not as long as you leave a mark and it makes a loud, satisfying smack sound. I don't enjoy feeling this way. I'm not even experiencing an adrenaline anger rush or anything remotely pleasant feeling. If this keeps up for a few more days I'm thinking of going on a crime spree. Maybe that would help get it out of my system.

I hate the fact that I'm in bed but I have to get up to brush my teeth. Stupid fuckin' teeth. Somebody should punch teeth right in their face.


ruuuth said...

feel better?

the teeth thing sucks. i hate it when i'm in bed and i realise i'm cultivating a layer of furr on my teeth and i really should do something about it.

Chai said...

Take up a sport where you hit something? Like tennis or racquetball or something where you exert lots of energy in?

Just trying to be helpful.

Failing that, sleep is pretty good.

kranki said...

Sleep is the ultimate stress buster. Well, sex and violence tend to work better.

gun street girl said...

I just dropped by to say I love you.
And after reading this I love you so much more.