Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Kranksgiving!

Ah, Thanksgiving. A time for friends and family who rarely see each other (usually by choice) to have quality time to sit around a table and aggravate one another.

There is something joyful and hassle-free about not having to travel anywhere on Thanksgiving. There is no awkward family tension to sit through, no taboo topics to avoid, and no intrusive conversations with estranged relatives to tolerate.

Oh, but the food makes it worth it you might be thinking. I tend to disagree.

Many people make Thanksgiving meals that are just mush. If you stop to thing about it you're really just eating something that amounts to adult baby food. Soft mashed potatoes, pureed yams, creamed spinach, slimy cranberry sauce, and soggy stuffing. Even the turkey with gravy is pretty mushy.

There are of course exceptions to the uninspiring meals that most people serve at their tables, but even if you find one of those it's no guarantee that you'll have a good time. The chances of you enjoying the company of all the people you're with even after the drinking starts is unlikely. There's always the asshole who somebody felt obligated to invite because they didn't have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving dinner. That person usually has some irritating personality traits and a whole bunch of dull conversation that they want to unload on you and you feel obligated to be nice to them since it's Thanksgiving. Drinking only makes them more chatty and clingy and when you step out to get some air, there they are. The problem is only compounded if they're attracted to you.

Important footnote: If you don't notice one of these people at your Thanksgiving dinner it's probably because that tiresome and/or rambling drunk person is you.

As for me, I'm going to get some Indian food see a movie and then sneak into another one as I continue a tradition I started in college.

Happy Kranksgiving!


Bongani said...

Exactly how I feel about Xmas

Carla said...

But presents, Bongani, presents.

travelingseth said...

Thanks for reminding me of my 10 day x-mass in Phoenix. Thanks.