Peaches & Leaches

There seem to be two categories that friends fall into. There are the Peaches; sweet, inviting and ready to enjoy types of friends that are refreshing, healthy, and good for you.

Then there are the Leaches. The unfortunate friends who want to unrepentantly suck you dry of your life blood, don't give you anything back, don't apologize for being draining and can end up leaving you covered in scars and stricken with hepatitis.

Peaches:

Be kind and caring to the peaches in your life. Nurture them with kindness, sunshine and compassion. Appreciate them for their fine qualities as much as they appreciate you. Don't drop them and give them bruises. Savor them and enjoy their flavor.

Leaches:

Avoid the murky waters that these parasites live in whenever possible. If they get close enough they will attempt to cling to your skin and bleed you. Quickly pull them off before they can fully attach. If they're persistent and prove difficult to tear away then you may have to burn them off. Don't get angry or judge them too harshly. That's just what leaches do.

Note: Peaches sometimes have leaches hiding inside them. Good luck out there.

Surfin' Berlin

So, I've been getting prepped for my trip to Berlin and I was turned on to a site called CouchSurfers. I'm going to be in Berlin for about 16 days and I hoped to have the chance to meet some locals and learn the best places and grab some unique experiences. I've gotten pretty good with my camera from just shooting around with it so I will hopefully capture some good images.

Unfortunately so far no Berlin folks have been able to host me. I'm sure they get tons of requests to sort through and since I'm not a duo of perky chics that might count against me.

If you blog readers have any Berlin connections I'd be happy to have them. I'll be spending most of my time in a hostel most likely but travel is all about the unique people you get the opportunity to meet. I'm hoping to shoot some of them and get some more practice taking portraits. I have a distinct feeling that there will be no lack of subject matter and photo inspiration in Berlin. The guide books are lovely, but they won't direct me to the underground party scene, let me make dinner in somebody's home or discover somebody's friend's weird band that's playing out on a boat.

Now I'll never be a Ninja.

The dream might be dead. Today my idea to one day dedicate myself to the ancient art of ninjitsu and ascend to master level, hit another serious snag.

Last week I saw some monkey rings at the playground and was tempted to try them. I should probably make it clear what monkey rings are. They are not rings made from monkey meat nor or they jewelry that monkeys might enjoy wearing. They're just like monkey bars but in ring form. I got a bit more than half-way before falling.

Today while arriving at the park a trio of martial arts workout clothing dressed people were holding boards and teaching people how to break them.

Bald karate instructor dude." Would any of you like to learn to break a board today?"

I'm feeling all Tom Cruise cocky so I say...

Me: Can I do it after a few beers?

B.K.I.D.: I recommend before.

And this almost seemed like a challenge. I, of course, know that one day when I decided to stop and pay a minute of attention to art of ninjitsu and away from whatever the hell my life is dedicated to now, I will become a ninja of incredible skill. So I'm amused by the challenge so I vounteer just to show off a tidbit of my future ninja skills. It's just a wooden board. I can break that with an elbow strike. They talk to me and walk me through it. I do a few non-contact runs and then finally my body posture is good and my knee opening rotation is good. I give it a whack. Hmmm, didn't break. More ideas from a super butch female instructor on how to break the board. I follow the advice, I focus that I'm going to hit right through and past the board. I focus my energy and, as instructed, I let out a loud war cry of power. I rotate to my power point, spin my elbow with a fierce force of confidence, swivel my hips throgh the strike and with a loud GeHHHAAAWW!!! I strike the board as hard as I can.

"Ponk." All that results is a sad, muted, "ponk" sound. The board looks at me as if to taunt me with it's girth. I then notice that I have a huge welt on my elbow where it hit the wood. I don't know if I'm even going to be able to learn the art of scaling buildings with my bare hands or weilding a katana with the precision of a surgical scalpel. I may not even ascend high enough to open my own do-jo. I'm pretty distraught now that I'm down further on the male delusion scale. Time to embrace my limitations and accept that all I'll ever be is a jet figher pilot/award-winning novelist/chef.