Welcome to LAX

I landed in Los Angeles International Airport to begin a visit a few weeks ago. The moment I got out of the terminal and out to where cars and cabs pick you up a woman who looked as if she worked for the airport was in my face. She was a black woman who looked to be in her mid forties. She immediately approached me and rather than provide me with travel assistance we had the following (as best as I can recall) conversation.

Her: Hey sugar, how are you?

Me: Fine, thanks.

Her: How are you fixed for a mistress?

Me: A mistress?

Her: Yeah, I bet a good-looking fella like you got a girl but I bet you ain't getting the dark chocolate goodness on the side, is you?

At this point she puts her hands on my waist and pulls herself next to me as I look desperately for my friend who is supposed to be picking me up.

Me: Um... Of course I have a mistress. Don't I look like I'd have one?

Her: Are you a rock star?

Me: Do rock stars fly on South West?

She takes me by the hand.

Her: No, but I bet you could rock me real good.

Me: You explain that to my wife okay?

Her: I'm just playing with you sweetie.

Then she lets go of my hand and spanks me on the ass.

It was odd to have my physical space violated by a woman like that. If the genders had been reversed it would have been almost criminal.

I can't help but wonder what the hell she does there or if she even works for the airport. Her ID badge and clipboard suggest that she does but I'm at a loss to imagine how she could keep a job if she does that to people at the airport. I don't imagine people are less easy going than I am and it was a bit much even for me.

I think I'm getting younger

Yes, I think I'm getting younger. While my body is still affected by gravity and my hair isn't coming in thicker and I still have to shave every day and my energy level isn't the same as it once was I still feel that I am getting younger. Here are some reasons that lead me to think this way.

1) I enjoy playing with toys and just yesterday bough a monkey in a leather jacket. I know it's hard to believe that I didn't already own one.

2) I gave a "light show" to the birthday boy at the last party I attended.

3) I was involved in a blindfolded kissing experiment a few weeks ago. Please note I was the only male in attendance.

4) Five years ago I was settled down, married and looking at buying a house. Now I am single, live in a shared apartment, and enjoy buying cool t-shirts.

5) I struggle to clean my room.

6) I wear a tie about once a year on average.

7) I recently bought a remote control car. I have a very difficult time going to the Drug Store without going to see what is in the games and toys isle.

8) Sparkly and shiny things draw my attention. I am forever bringing things home that I find on the street. My housemates are starting to find this habit is no longer charming.

9) I have a bug collection. (it's to teach the students, but still...)

10) I like dressing up more now as an "adult" than I did when I was a boy.

Maybe spending every weekday with five and six-year-old kids is having an affect on me.

Silly Friendster

Oh, Friendster, your sad ploys to bring me back to you are about as transparent as a wet pair of sheer panties in the bright summer sun. It's time for you to go quietly into the night where you can find a dark cave to curl up, get into the virtual fetal position and fade away. I see at the bottom of this page that Friendster hopes to reclaim it's market share by offering Friendster in the language of Tagalog. That should catapult them to social networking supremacy.
	New Message Find Your Friends
	You have received a new message from Theda on Friendster. The message was sent on 02/04/09 02:01 PM. View Message
	Friendster now in Tagalog! Invite friends and family that know Tagalog to join you on Friendster.

Back to Writing

I'm going to try and start writing here again.  Too many amazing, weird, wrong, funny, painful, messy, delightful, lucky, random things have been happening to let them slip away unkhronicled.