World Don't Need No Education...

World falling behind on 2015 education goal

By David Alexander
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Access to education increased dramatically over the past century but 323 million children worldwide are still not in school and efforts to achieve universal primary education by 2015 are likely to fail, a new study said on Wednesday.

I grabbed this one before The Onion could get hold of it.

Let's look at what effect the world falling behind in education might have.

1) The World is called into the Universe's office for a stern talking to.

2) The World's grandmother will only give it a 5 trillion-dollar bill instead of a 10 trillion-dollar bill on it's birthday.

3) Unrealistic goal set by humans is not met by humans. Idea to end world hunger by turning the oceans into Jello is reconsidered.

4) When you travel you will continue to meet stupid people wherever you go.

5) Lottery ticket sales will continue to stay strong.

6) Monkeys still have an outside shot at reclaiming control of the earth.

7) The Holy father takes away the World's X-Box privileges exclaiming, "Get your axis on straight and priorities in order you little slacker planet. My galaxy, my rules."

8) All the good jobs will go to the better educated kids from Venus and Mercury.

So, what is the real danger here? I understand that the goal is to have education available as a human right to all children but when you have a dozen wars raging at any given time on this greasy, blue-green ball of wax how can you expect that to happen? Why is it in our interests to educate other countries so that they can take even more of our jobs? Would it cost much for the wealthier countries to provide this opportunity? No. It would just be a tiny fraction of their economy. Wouldn't clean drinking water for all be more of a priority? Even if many of these poor countries did receive the funds to educate all their citizens they wouldn't spend the money on education. Even I would rather have a brand new AK-47 assault rifle than a stack of text books*. You can't make people share your goals and priorities. It's an absurd notion. If I put a stack of bricks in my yard I wouldn't be surprised if I came out the next day and the ants hadn't built them into a small pyramid.

* Although it would be fun to have both so you could shoot the textbooks.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070117/wl_nm/education_world_dc_1

FLUFFY BIRTHDAY!

Hello?




Hey Fluffy, it's me Kranki. I'm calling to wish you a happy birthday



That's so sweet of you to call. Thank you. How are you, love?




I'm doing well luscious lady. What's going down, down under?



I'm just endulging myself with a lazy day. All I did today after I got home from a double shift was repaint the kitchen, clean the house and rebuilt my laptop. Oh then one of the cats was feeling ill so transplanted a kidney from one to the other while teaching little Z-man conversational Spanish. Now I'm relaxing in the spa. I really should get someting accomplished today but it's my birtday, right?



Absolutely, you deserve it. Give little Z-man a hug from me and know that I'm thinking about you my sudsy friend.


Hey, my blogger suddenly won't post anymore pictures so I can't end this with the joke I wanted to. Well, it was me putting Z-man from Beyond the Valley of the Dolls on to talk to Fluffy. He'd say,"Fluffy, you're birthday is happening and it freaks me out!" Then there was a picture of Fluffy flashing her boobs and saying something funny. Sigh... blogger tech problems.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FLUFF!

xoxoxo Kranki

Verifiy This!

I'm sick of this word verification thing. I have to verify some word like RETGRU. It's not word verification it's random letter verification. I even have to do it just to make a comment on my own blog. What gives? Yes, I like the fact that I don't get inundated with advertising disguised as comments such as...

sink sink socks said...
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So while it's great to get that kind of comment and the many that offer to make my penis longer. Notice they never say make your penis girthier just longer. But I digress. Basically I think they should let you have the option to allow certain people to post comments if they are on your approved list. Once they are on your approved comment lis they don't have to word verify again. Well, I have go and explore the world of bilder deutscher pornostars.
Tot ziens mon ami!

Loudspeak

The Origin of Loudspeak

A few years ago my friend Lars and I were in Starbucks. Yes, that Starbucks, the one on the corner near the bank. We were a bit bored so I began "loud talking" to amuse myself. It wasn't incredibly loud that it would be obvious or obnoxious but it was louder than normal and very clearly articulated so that anybody standing nearby was able to hear. We chickened out pretty quickly but over the years we have gotten bolder and better.

A fun way to kill a half hour doing this is to go into any public building with an elevator. It works best if you are very well dressed. The key is success is to be fearless, casual and good at improvising. When a few people get on and doors close you wait a moment for the standard elevator silence and then you begin your conversation. You take turns asking questions and the first person to start laughing is the loser. It's harder than it sounds.

Your friend: "So what did your lawyer say?"

You: "He's saying that if we can prove that the blood they found under my fingernails isn't hers he might be able to have the charges reduced to manslaughter... Oh hey, did you still need me to drive you to the doctor tomorrow?"

Your Friend: "No, it was bothering me too much. I had to leave work and go this morning."

You: "What did he say was causing the pain?"

Your Friend: "It was totally minor, I had a really small tear on my anal cavity. That's what was causing all the irritation. He gave me some cream and said to go easy on the toys."

You: "Karen isn't going to like the sound of that."

Your Friend: "Neither is your wife. Is she still coming to the party?"

You: "Totally, she's been talking about it all week. She even bought some new lingerie."

Your Friend: "Awesome. That'll be off in five minutes. Oh, almost forgot. Can you bring that extra mattress and your blue futon? I cleared out the den so we'd have more bed space."

You: "Sure. Did you invite that cute blonde from the mail room? The big blue eyes, the pouty lips..."

Your Friend: "Good news for you. I got the RSVP this morning, so Carl will definitely be there."

You: "Sweet."

Good luck. I strongly recommend having a few drinks if you are a novice at Loudspeak.

The Flag in My Heart

Like nearly all Americans I am just now recovering from grieving the loss of beloved President Gerald Ford. For me the news had a doubly harsh sting. First came the shock of discovering that Ford hadn't already been dead for years, and then came the shock that Gerald Ford was no longer with us. It was like riding a cruel and rickety roller coaster. A roller coaster that left me feeling emotionally whiplashed by grief. My next thought was for the nation. Could the United States survive the loss of former President Gerald Ford or would the void be too much to bear for our divided and struggling democracy? Time will tell if we can ever fully recover with such a vast void in our core.
The loss is stunning because he was taken from us while still in the prime of his late golden years. He was only 93 years-old when he was taken from us and probably just hitting his political stride. Maybe God simply needed the man's guidance more than we mortals. After all, this man was the only unelected President we have ever had. He was a man credited with having wisdom beyond his generation. Aside from being most famous for accidentally falling down stairs on television and in public on a few occasions he is also remembered for granting a Presidential pardon for Richard Nixon's blatant criminal involvement in the Watergate scandal. Here was a man with the foresight and courage to let his buddy who got him the Vice President gig get off the hook for extreme criminal misconduct and blatantly obstructing justice. How could the nation have ever healed if Nixon had received proper punishment for violating the office of the President?
Now while it is true that I was just a baby when Ford was President and he had no impact on my life in any meaningful way, I still deeply wish that I had been old enough to vote back then so that I too could been there to play my part and have the chance to not vote him into The Oval Office.

I think closing the Post Office and letting all government employees have another day off after the day they got hung over for New Years is a noble and well deserved honor for a man of Ford stature. Today, under the heavy burden of sorrow, the flag in my heart was hanging at half-mast.