Flirting. How much is too much?

Good. Question. Me.

#1) Acceptable compliments a man can make to another woman when one or both of you are married.

I really like your shoes, where did you get them?

You're very funny, I love listening to your stories.

Your wife has a great smile.

#2) Unacceptable compliments (same situation)

You have a really amazing body, I'd love to see what you look like naked. Nothing beyond that, just like I'd want to see a great sculpture. I just love the female form.

I love the way you smell. Not the perfume, but you just always smell so wonderful.

Your hands are cold. You can put them in my jacket pockets if you want to warm them up.

Most of the unacceptable compliments would get people totally uptight if not irate. I sometimes wish that I had been around in the free love era. I'd still want to be in a committed relationship but the attitudes would be more refreshing. Less "Why you lookin' at my lady?!" and more "You guys seem nice, how about some wine and a foot massage?"

I trust my wife and so seeing a guy flirt with her is nothing but a turn on and validation that I have excellent taste in women. I get to see her react to the fresh feeling of being desired and flirted with. It's a powerful feeling. Who doesn't like being on the receiving end of a coy smile.

I think that there needs to be more research done into the area of interpersonal relationships and the role that flirting serves. I am a flirty person, just outgoing and desirous of people taking a shine to me. It's validating. But how do you know when you're flirting too much? Is it a human compunction that replaces the need for sexual conquest? For me it's enough just to know that I could have gotten physical with the girl I was flirting with. Most guys have close female friends who we'd like to hug and show affection towards. But with a wife or other friends around, too much will get read into a situation. It sucks to be on guard worrying about sending mixed messages. I would be refreshing if you could say to your platonic friend, "Hey, I feel like cuddling with you or hugging you without it being a big deal." It wasn't a big deal in college But now I don't think I know anybody who can comfortably do that without fear that some deeper meaning will be attached to the desire to hold somebody you care about. I know there are more than a few open relationship couples who allow their partners to have sex with other people and say that they're not jealous. But it seems to me that they're generally jealous when they're not included and that most of those relationships are on their last legs and turn to threesomes or foursomes as an effort to save a sinking ship. It happens. But I don't get it. You're sitting on the couch watching some TV while your wife is in your bedroom with your friend getting pounded like a naughty veal cutlet. How does that work outside of a Cinemax movie plot? Perhaps it's just a mutual understanding that sex doesn't mean love. There are successful gay relationships that allow for sex outside the relationship. It seems to make sense it could be that males are biologically inclined to play the field and wish to have the opportunity to do so, whereas females attach security and love and trust to the act of having sex. I agree that love making is much better when it's with somebody you care about, but sometimes sex is just sex.

I'm a recently married guy and a little jealous can be healthy for a relationship, but how much is too much? I wish we could all be a little more open minded about sexuality, myself included.

Even dogs get jealous when you pay attention or "flirt" with another dog or a sibling. It seems that this need for intimacy and attention runs pretty deep if it's emotional behavior that even dogs display. I guess the main thing is establishing boundaries that you are both comfortable with.

Well, I must cut this post short. I want to tidy up the apartment before tonight's big circle jerk. Should I serve red wine or white wine?