Thursday, May 22, 2008

Since Enny asked

This is what happened. She talked about her ex boyfriend entirely too much, called me a lightweight drinker (I am. Plus I was full from dinner, but no guy likes to hear that) which caused me to drink more than I needed. I kissed her at one point and it was nice but then she said she had to go at 10:24 pm to do some work which when she described it sounded like it was less than urgent to me. I told her that was bullshit, but fine. Then on the way up the hill walking back to her car she said she couldn't make it and I picked her up. She was too fucking heavy and I was too drunk and I went to place her atop some recycling bins and kiss her sexily but ended up dropping her on the light and empty bins and face planting her into a parked car. If that wasn't bad enough there were some people who saw the whole thing and uncaringly asked if we were okay before telling us to pick up all the containers that we had knocked over. She apologized for being too heavy and I walked her to her car, made a quick joke about promising not to call her and hurried inside. I went to sleep even though I should probably have just slit my wrists in the bathtub. At least I don't work with her... Oh, wait... FUCK!


elaine said...

oh noes!

big hugs krankiman.


Melba said...

i would have loved that date. sounds fun.

Enny said...

Oh noes!!!

How terrible!
Yet amusing!
Yet terrible!


Joe said...


I'm sorry, but that's just too damned funny for me to offer any sympathy.

kranki said...

Be careful what you wish for Melba.

She actually called me up and asked to get a drink. I saw the bruise that was still there.

I'm going to stay away from her however, because she's clearly damaged goods*.

My dignity was completely salvaged by getting the attentions of a lovely young Brazilian woman this weekend.

*Pun intended

Anonymous said...

i'd love to be kissed sexily on some bins.

she asked you out again - go, for truck's sake. talk about your ex this time. make stuff up.


Saskia Sansom said...


You made laughs come out.

Pen to the gunfight said...

at first i was all: ...

then i loled.