Tuesday, November 20, 2007

I'm not into you.


Many people find it difficult to tell somebody that they are no longer interested in seeing them. Personally I'm ashamed to admit that I've broken up with women in some cowardly ways. Please note that some of these I did when I was just a stupid teenager. Also, two methods in this list are blatant lies.

1) While over at her house I casually told her mother that we had decided just to be friends.

2) Went away to Europe for two months but failed to mention anything about the trip to her.

3) Break up note slipped under her door followed by me running away.

4) Made up a story about falling in love with a completely made up person.

5) The college classic: Stop being friendly when you see them and promptly start sleeping with their roommate.

6) Had my new girlfriend explain that I didn't want to see her anymore.

7) Told her I was saving myself for marriage and being around her was just too tempting.

8) Used inside information she told me to help her ex-boyfriend say the right things and "win" her back from me.

9) Changed Facebook information from 'In a relationship' to 'single.' Changed status to read 'Krankiboy is no longer dating Natasha.'

10) Wrote a message on her bathroom mirror with her lipstick then snuck out of her place during the night.

Care to comment on a crappy break-up method you have used or had used on you?

7 comments:

Quirkie said...

You've had 10 girlfriends. SHeesh. That's just showing off.

Enny said...

If two are false than I'm presuming you've had eight :o)

I think eight and nine are made up.

kranki said...

quirkie: I grew up in NYC and went to school in Boston, they're small towns with not much else to do.

enny: I'll get back to you on a grand number tally.

Eight is actually not one of the blatant lies, but 9 is.

sublime-ation said...

I was always of the go to a gig with them, go backstage and go home with one of the band* school.

Harsh, but fair.

*This works/hurts particularly well if you then go on tour with band after. Good for getting away from the ex permanently.

kranki said...

You mean going with the guy to the show and basically saying "Thanks for taking me to the show, I'm going to go fuck the drummer now, bye."

Cold. As. Ice.

sublime-ation said...

I actually try to make it the lead singer, headline act, so as to soften the blow.
The drummer would just be too much of a cunt act.

BEVIS said...

You forgot posting nude pics or a sex video of them on one of those "ex-girlfriend" sites I know nothing about.

Never done it, myself ... but I have the pics there ready to go, should any of them piss me off if/when I ever run into them again.

I'm surprised this wasn't your number one point, Kranki.