I'm not into you.

Many people find it difficult to tell somebody that they are no longer interested in seeing them. Personally I'm ashamed to admit that I've broken up with women in some cowardly ways. Please note that some of these I did when I was just a stupid teenager. Also, two methods in this list are blatant lies.

1) While over at her house I casually told her mother that we had decided just to be friends.

2) Went away to Europe for two months but failed to mention anything about the trip to her.

3) Break up note slipped under her door followed by me running away.

4) Made up a story about falling in love with a completely made up person.

5) The college classic: Stop being friendly when you see them and promptly start sleeping with their roommate.

6) Had my new girlfriend explain that I didn't want to see her anymore.

7) Told her I was saving myself for marriage and being around her was just too tempting.

8) Used inside information she told me to help her ex-boyfriend say the right things and "win" her back from me.

9) Changed Facebook information from 'In a relationship' to 'single.' Changed status to read 'Krankiboy is no longer dating Natasha.'

10) Wrote a message on her bathroom mirror with her lipstick then snuck out of her place during the night.

Care to comment on a crappy break-up method you have used or had used on you?

My Ride

So my car died... afuckingain.

This time I had my friend jump it which Alex had never done before. When Alex saw me hook up the batteries and it started up I believe the comment was "Aww, it's like our cars are kissing." This is a clear indication that Alex is a girl. Guys don't say that shit. That's why I don't like very many guys.

Instead of stressing out about driving it around to charge up the battery I simply left the keys in the ignition and walked off to have a leisurely dinner. This is a very freeing thing. The idea that my car was just there and running for anybody to take was quite cool. I was half hoping that somebody would steal it so I could get the insurance money and no longer have to endure parking tickets. I'm very close to selling the poor old gal and getting a scooter. Don't judge me, I live in the worst parking city on the face of the planet. Does the planet have a face or has it been covered in polar ice cap water. When the waters rise worldwide don't blame me, I'll have an aqua scooter and a pair of water wings.

What was the point of this blog again? Oh right, it's me, I'm pointless. Some say it's my charm. And my "some" I mean me.